Apparently it's not soon enough, however, as the writers just can't allow themselves to let him go without finally permitting him to crack Ryan's tough-guy exterior. And so once again the prison laundry room is home to a touching scene of man's love for his fellow man. Except not like that. Father Meehan urges Ryan to show Peter Schibetta the same love he demonstrates towards Cyril, and to "let the goodness rise and be the man God meant you to be." Women (and quite a few men) all across America swoon at the thought of Ryan letting his "goodness" rise, but that happy mental image is shattered when an anvil comes crashing through the ceiling, bearing the weight of some incredibly hackneyed laundry-based foreshadowing.
Jefferson Keane interrupts for a moment to describe the death customs of an African tribe known as the Shona, who believe that the spirits of the dead surround their village to protect the inhabitants and allow them to communicate with God. Other spirits, however, are not so well-intentioned, and often avenge themselves on the unsuspecting through sudden death. I should only be so lucky.
After the interlude, Ryan awakens in his pod to find Father Meehan collapsed on the floor, with copious amounts of excrement trailing down the back of his legs. I can't believe that I've been watching this show for less than forty-five minutes, and I've already become so immune to disgusting sights that I don't even feel particularly compelled to comment on them anymore. It's just par for the course, I guess. Ryan pounds on the glass to summon the guards, but it's no use. Not even Dr. Nathan's half-hearted Kerry Weaver impersonation can save him now. When she informs Ryan and Sister Pete that Salty Shitpants is dead, Ryan doesn't take the news very well. He does, however, ask to be permitted to wash the old guy's body, out of respect for everything Father Meehan tried to do for him and Cyril. Gloria reluctantly agrees, and as Jefferson Keane croons an old spiritual hymn on the soundtrack, we see Ryan tenderly scrubbing the body.
The music leads us on a montage through Oz, past Chris Keller to Schillinger in solitary, and then finally onto Beecher in Unit J. Ahh, at long last, Lee Tergesen. Which reminds me that I'd like to take a moment and dedicate this recap to the memory of Dr. Lee Trachtenberg, whom none of you know, but who will be missed nonetheless. I'd also like to ask our intrepid forum readers to email me with the name of the old cop-guy Beecher is talking with in this scene, because I don't know it, and I can't find it listed anywhere. In the meantime, Old Cop Guy quizzes Beecher on why he's reading law books, and Toby explains that he's trying to find a way to overturn Keller's death sentence. Beecher, by the way, is sporting a new buzz-cut, which is infinitely more attractive than the waves of greased broom thistles he had last season. And while we're on the subject of hair-don'ts, here comes Cindy Brady Winthrop on a mail-run, all decked out in pigtails and a babushka. And the color-prags say, "Doo do doo do doo doo do doo." That joke is funnier if you live in Pittsburgh and listen to the radio a lot. Cindy delivers a pair of magazines to Cop Guy, but also confesses that his copy of Swank got a little "manhandled" in the mail-room. Heh. You just can't beat a good masturbation pun. Cindy moves on to deliver to Beecher, who reports that life in Unit J is significantly better than "bobbing for apples with the Aryans." Heh, again. I'm also a sucker for a good blowjob euphemism. Anyway, Beecher and Cindy rehash a few loose plot threads from last season, including the fact that Beecher got Schillinger thrown into solitary for raping Cindy and his pal Adam. We're also treated to a full-frontal freeze-frame flashback of Beecher fighting with a guy I can't identify. Cindy hands over Toby's mail, and also makes a sinister-sounding comment about Beecher's upcoming visit with his kids. I'm not worried, though, because it's not like they'd kill off any more members of Beecher's family, right? Right?!?