And now, in one of those "only in Oz"-type coincidences, Leo just happens to be meeting with the new prison librarian, played (or should I say "overplayed") by Patti LuPone. McManus interrupts their conference, and despite the fact that Patti is precisely the sort of older, marginally attractive female authority figure Timmy is usually drawn to romantically, he manages to get through the entire two-minute scene without asking her out even once. Instead, he wonders why she would choose to leave a cushy job in Boston to work in a mean nasty prison like Oz. Patti offers up the requisite "if I could just save one inmate" explanation, and then adds "I'm from the North End. To me, 'no' only means 'try harder.'" Heh. I'm from Brookline. To me, "no" only means "offer them more money." McManus convinces her to give Rebadow a job, and the scene ends.
But our time with Patti does not, as we now see her in the library, awaiting her first customer. Not surprisingly, it turns out to be Rebadow. They banter for a bit, with several of the show's writing staff gathered in the background to assemble the giant telegraph unit they'll be using to foreshadow this plotline's outcome. Patti: "[Flirt. Flirt. Over-act. Flirt.]" Rebadow: ["Pretentious. Pretentious. Dewey decimal system. Overenunciate.]" Oy. Shut up, Rebadozzzzzzzzzzzze.
Yay! It's time for the O'Reily boys! Finally, an inmate I actually care about. Ryan brings Cyril his lunch on death row, and exposits that a new lawyer has been hired to try and overturn his death sentence. And if the sight of Ryan wasn't enough to warm the, uh, cockles of your heart, here comes Keller as well, acting like his usual jaunty self. The Favorite Character Reunion Hour then reaches a climax with the death row arrival of Timmy Kirk, who gets escorted to his new home across the hall from Jaz Hoyt. Jaz calls him a "cocksucker," which makes me giggle, and then Ryan and Keller stand by and giggle while Timmy explains that he's Satan incarnate, and thus immortal. Oh, you shouldn't have said that, Timmy. Now you'll probably be dead before the third episode.