Later, after lights out, Morales and Guerra sit in their pod and discuss the day's events. Guerra admits to getting tired of dealing with all the violent "bullshit" he encounters in Oz, and Morales says he felt the same way after the death of his sister. "What happened to you?" wonders Guerra. "Oz happened," replies Morales. Bullshit. If Oz had happened, he'd be dead. And also probably raped.
Jefferson Keane pops up once again, this time to give some quick Cliffs Notes on Dante's Inferno. "Hell," he says, is a place where "sinners are tormented by a punishment that reflects their crime." I'm again forced to wonder what it was I did to land this particular recapping gig.
Oh, joy. Grumpy Old Cons. It's the next morning, and Busmalis wakes up to find Rebadow still sulking in his bed. We quickly move to McManus's office, where Timmy delivers a few platitudes on grief that would make Pa Kent proud. Rebadow, however, is not moved, and explains that he's become consumed with the idea that the Rebadow name will die out now that his grandson is dead. A quick check of the Internet White Pages reveals that he actually has nothing to worry about, and also demonstrates that upstate New York is home to a disturbingly large percentage of this country's remaining Rebadows. It must be the proximity to Attica. Oh, and while we're off on a tangent, can someone please explain to me what that fucking string he wears around his neck is supposed to mean? I've never been able to figure that one out. In an effort to help take his mind off things, McManus agrees to transfer Rebadow's work assignment to the library.
And now, in one of those "only in Oz"-type coincidences, Leo just happens to be meeting with the new prison librarian, played (or should I say "overplayed") by Patti LuPone. McManus interrupts their conference, and despite the fact that Patti is precisely the sort of older, marginally attractive female authority figure Timmy is usually drawn to romantically, he manages to get through the entire two-minute scene without asking her out even once. Instead, he wonders why she would choose to leave a cushy job in Boston to work in a mean nasty prison like Oz. Patti offers up the requisite "if I could just save one inmate" explanation, and then adds "I'm from the North End. To me, 'no' only means 'try harder.'" Heh. I'm from Brookline. To me, "no" only means "offer them more money." McManus convinces her to give Rebadow a job, and the scene ends.
But our time with Patti does not, as we now see her in the library, awaiting her first customer. Not surprisingly, it turns out to be Rebadow. They banter for a bit, with several of the show's writing staff gathered in the background to assemble the giant telegraph unit they'll be using to foreshadow this plotline's outcome. Patti: "[Flirt. Flirt. Over-act. Flirt.]" Rebadow: ["Pretentious. Pretentious. Dewey decimal system. Overenunciate.]" Oy. Shut up, Rebadozzzzzzzzzzzze.