Oz

Episode Report Card
Chuck: B | 650 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Life is but a ream

Time for Sister Pete to facilitate another pointless interaction, with Ryan, Cyril, and the newly-returned Asian. Cyril apologizes; Pete asks why he hit Kenmin; because he was hitting Ryan; and why was Kenmin hitting Ryan? More Zen Master hooey about showing off after a day in the cage. He was feeling "feisty." Ryan thinks Kenmin is full of crap, as do I, and shows it by interrupting and swearing, both of which are against Sister Pete's rules, so she yells at him. Kenmin accepts responsibility for his actions, and wants to make peace. Over Ryan's protests, Cyril gets up ("I want to make peace too," he says) as does Kenmin, after receiving encouragement from Pete. Cyril and Kenmin hug, Ryan looks disgusted, and I am left to wonder yet again about the incredible naivete of the entire staff, who fall for this shit over and over again. Because, as Cyril cries (cries!) in Kenmin's arms, a close-up of a tattoo on Kenmin's hand and some jangly, Asian-influenced music confirm that Kenmin is evil, evil, evil.

Unbearable Asian pop music swells as a guy and girl make out next to a Cadillac and a convertible Mustang stops in front of the Burger-Rama drive-through window. A guy with terrible skin -- the driver of the Mustang -- spies the macking couple and jumps out of the car, gun in hand. He strides across the parking lot, gun held sideways (so we know he means bidness), shooting all the way, hitting the couple and two or three innocent bystanders. Very thorough. According to Hill, his name's Li Chen, and he was convicted last Monday of four counts of attempted murder. Thirty-two years, up for parole in twenty. Li Chen's bunking with Kenmin, probably because they're the only Asians in the whole joint. I hope they have sex. They converse in the strange tongue of their people, which I don't understand, but it must be about the O'Reilys, because they're onscreen. And it must be bad, because Li and Kenmin look menacing.

Cyril's getting singing lessons from Betty Buckley. His scales suck. Ryan, laughing, says so, and Betty Buckley gets mock annoyed, since it's not about being a star but about expressing feelings through music, and also since she's so impressed with her psycho son that everything he does charms the pants right off of her. She says Cyril is doing a wonderful job, in that annoying tone that people use for kindergarteners and, well, retards. She then tells Ryan to try it, but he refuses, saying that he signed up for this to spend more time with his mother, not to sing. He's saved by the bell, but Betty Buckley says she wants to hear him sing next Friday. In a completely unsurprising development, Li and Kenmin will be BB's next two students, which pleases Ryan not at all.

Oz

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