Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Episode Report Card
Chuck: B- | Grade It Now!
Life is but a ream

In the cafeteria, Kirk asks one of the more artfully decorated bikers where Gunner is. Solitary. Cloutier? Alive. Jaz walks up and tells Kirk about seeing Cloutier in the hole; Kirk thinks Jaz was dreaming, but Jaz is convinced that Cloutier was there with him, and is kind of over Kirk trying to weasel out of responsibility for an increasingly wide path of death and destruction. That night, Jaz enjoys a peaceful cigarette in his pod; a guard tells him to put it out, and as he grinds it into the floor, an ethereal voice says, "Smoking is bad for you, Jaz." Without thinking, Jaz answers, "I know," and then realizes that Dylan McKay has somehow made it into the pod with him. Jaz Hoyt's wet dream doesn't star Barbi Benton. Jaz starts screaming, but Dylan tells him that it's all in his head -- he's the guilt Jaz has been building up ever since he killed his "first cat" -- is that Cloutier-speak for "black person"? -- and that he must either kill Timmy Kirk or live with Dylan McKay in his head forever. Jaz assents. Thine is a vengeful God.

As Mukada prepares for mass, he tells Timmy Kirk that Dr. Nathan is filled with glowing reports of Cloutier's recovery, and that the burned guy should soon be able to explain exactly how he ended up behind that wall. Mukada's really adding fuel to the fire here -- doesn't he think that goading Kirk might further inspire his nefarious tendencies where Cloutier is concerned, especially since someone just entered his unguarded room and tried to whack him? The guy did bury a living human being behind a wall, after all. I'm just saying. Then Kirk offers Mukada a blowjob. Dude, blowjobs don't solve everything. They solve a lot, but not everything. I'm sure the cigar-chomping Freud would have a field day with Kirk's continuing fascination with offering blowjobs to people who aren't likely to accept. Hoyt barrels in and begins pummeling Kirk; when Mukada tries to stop him, Hoyt knocks Mukada (who does a nifty stop, drop, and roll) off the makeshift altar, pulls a wooden crucifix from its stand, straddles Kirk, looks skyward, and plunges the little Jesus deep into Kirk's belly. Mukada looks on, horrified. Kirk, of course, says, "Oh, Jesus." Cut to Cloutier as he sits up, looking pleasantly avenged. In the infirmary, Dr. Nathan and a passel of nurses work to save Kirk, who screams, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as Hoyt confesses, on tape, to a long string of murders as Leo stands over him, arms crossed.

Religion explains to Science that Hoyt really believes that Cloutier ordered him to kill Kirk; Science expresses astonishment, since Cloutier can neither move nor speak, but Religion refuses to discount Hoyt's position completely. As they near Cloutier's door, Science wonders if Hoyt's gunning for the insanity plea, but all bets fly out the window as the door swings back to reveal an empty bed. Well, gosh golly, says Science, he was here just a second ago. Religion, holding his Bible, fondles the bed where Cloutier's body lay before he decided to slip out for a burger. I hope he's gone off to drive McManus insane. At mass, Mukada, wearing a tablecloth, delivers a sermon about Jesus' resurrection, just in case anyone out there wasn't completely aware of what's happening. And then Hill wraps things up with another irrelevant aside about how, unlike the real world, the way to survive in Oz is to have no dreams. But then, since most people out there never realize their dreams, the folks inside aren't really missing anything, are they? Except Hawaiian tits.

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