Oz
Escape From Oz

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
See No Evil

The next morning, Metzger impotently chews out the Em City prisoner population. Everyone looks bored. I'd love the smart-ass who said, "Aw, did someone wose his wittle Nazi fwiends?" Apparently, no one's a big enough smart-ass to risk time in the Hole. Too bad Keller's not around. Or Demian.

McManus's office. McManus notes that the hole out of which Mack Daddy tried to make their exit was in the Depends Duo's old pod. Rebadow says that Busmalis dug it. Busmalis is all, "Rebadow!" with a delivery more appropriate to Rebadow having told McManus that Busmalis wears women's underwear to bed. Rebadow clarifies that Busmalis only did so (dug the tunnel, not cross-dressed) under orders from Mack, and that Mack threatened to kill Busmalis if he didn't comply. Busmalis is all, who in the wha-- er, yes, he did, and again, this is such lazy writing, like in that whole night they spent together when Mack Daddy were gulping lungfuls of dirt, Rebadow couldn't have, say, CLUED BUSMALIS IN TO HIS PLAN, which would have protected both of them, not to mention spared us this Abb-not and Costello routine? I'm going to need some shirtless Alvarez as well as shirtless Ryan now. Preferably together. Metzger points out that if that story is true, they should have come to the hacks, but Rebadow glibly says that Busmalis was terrified, and that he tried to warn Mack of the potential danger, but Mack wouldn't listen. Busmalis annoyingly parrots everything Rebadow says. God, shut up. Metzger still wants to discipline them, but McManus overrules him and sends them on their way. Outside, Alvarez and another orderly wheel Mack and Daddy's corpses by. Busmalis dorkily doffs his hat, and the two of them smile lovingly at each other, just as I smile lovingly at a bottle of Jack Daniel's, which is the only thing that's going to get me through this recap. I think I'm turning into Regina.

Morgue. Mack and Daddy are laid out on gurneys, naked except for towels covering their nether regions, and each wearing more powder on his face than was used in all of Farewell My Concubine. Hill's in there, so apparently he changed work details since the pilot, and then Poet enters. He tells Hill that the morgue is his new work assignment. "McManus's revenge on me for screwing up outside." As I said in my last recap, if McManus wanted to punish him, I don't know why the hell he allowed him to return to Em City at all. Hill asks what happened on the outside. Poet says that he spent all the money he got for the book on crack, and when it ran out, the dealers came after him. Okay, I know the timeline in Oz is screwier than Paul Lynde on Quaaludes, but Poet left Oz in the middle of the fifth episode and was back by the seventh, and we know that only a week passed between episodes six and seven, so it doesn't seem like he could have been outside for more than a few weeks. My point? The math adds up to either a very stingy publisher, an awful lot of crack in a very short time, or me having yet another pull from the whiskey bottle. Or, most likely of all, all three. Poet says it was self-defense as we see the flashback we saw last week, only this time, Poet fires his gun more than once. In fact, according to Hill, he shot the guy six times. Poet: "I had to make sure the nigger was dead." And you also had to make sure you got sent back to Oz. Guess which crime is more serious in my eyes? Poet asks what they're supposed to do, and Hill tells him that when the mortician gets back from lunch, they'll basically just hand him things, like embalming fluid and cosmetics. Poet's surprised that they would use cosmetics, and I know this was before the days of Six Feet Under, but I think, given his history, he would have been to his share of funerals, if you take my meaning. Poet starts poking at Mack's corpse for no clear reason as he says he won't wear makeup. Hill counters that when you're dead, you don't have much choice, as he examines a coffin. The sweet release of death isn't sounding too terrible at the moment, to be honest.

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Oz

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