Boot Hill. Enough said.

Here comes the shortest section of the program, this one featuring Arif and Crackhead Cosby. Well, there's always room for Jell-O, I guess. After Arif confesses that he can no longer live with the guilt of profiting from Redding's destruction of the printing press, he finds himself summarily dismissed from the Muslim prayer group. They also punch him a few times, leaving his shirt ripped to tatters and soaked in an improbably large amount of blood. I mention that only because it will be important later. When he explains the situation to McManus, Arif ends up thrown in the Em City cage, and Crackhead Cosby ends up getting sent to solitary. Sigh. Whatever. Not even a brief appearance by Business Barbie and her paper-thin pink T-shirt that's as close as we're going to get to female nudity this season is enough to rouse me from my "I Can't Believe There's Still A Full Hour To Go" stupor. Farewell, Crackhead Cosby. May your gait always be shambling, and your pudding pops always ice-cold.

Cherry Hill. Or maybe that should be "Benny Hill," seeing as how Augustus is surrounded by the entire population of Oz as they all peruse various pornographic magazines. Here's a story, and it's stupid: The state of Wisconsin has banned all sexually explicit materials that prisoners can receive through the mail. This includes -- among other things -- Playboy, Maxim, and photographs of The Sistine Chapel. This bit actually does have a very impressive special effect, as the naked women in the porn magazines are replaced by various religious icons, but I definitely could have lived without the shot of Ryan O'Reily groping his crotch. I may be alone on that one, though.

Woo hoo! It's Torquemada time! The Sex-Eye strolls along the upper tier of Em City, stopping just long enough to confirm that the Italians outside of Oz have given Pancamo their blessing to do business with him. "I don't intend to be a silent partner," snaps Chucky, although he does struggle a bit with the big-boy words. You know, like "intend" and "silent." ["Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck, till thou applaud the deed." -- Macbeth (Act III. Scene ii.)] From there Torquie moves over to join Alvarez, and after some over-sexed dialogue about "dialing a dago," he once again leans in for a sexy sniff before departing. Man, why can't I be more like Torquemada? Nobody ever thinks MY post-nasal drip is sexy.