Oz

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | 1026 USERS: B-
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So Long, And Thanks For All The Dick

Oh, and here's another quick research tip: Never ask your co-workers for help thinking up the names of famous dead racists. You tend get a lot of funny looks that way. And also a trip to human resources.

Without Leo's murder thusly avenged by the righteous fury of Timbo's pounding on The Steel Drums Of Non-Gay Boss-Love, it's finally time to play "meet the new boss, same as the old boss" as Martin Querns struts triumphantly into a staff meeting to announce his return. Now I'll admit that I've never seen most of his earlier episodes, but I definitely like what I'm seeing here. Where you been all my life, Marty? Although he does pose something of a minor nickname quandary. I mean, do you go with "Warden Shaft"? "Lionel Bitchie"? "Cornel Pest"? So many choices, so few scenes. Cut to Leo's old office, still with his nameplate on the door, where Querns is interviewing the staff. First up is McManus himself, and he's basically told that the only way he'll get to keep his job is if Governor Little Lord Soon To Be Orangepants loses his first. Querns then rounds out his brief moment in the sun with a stirring rendition of "Dancing on the Ceiling," a quick salacious comment directed at Sister Pete, and a warning to the inmates that anyone sent to solitary will be strapped into a device called a "restraint chair," which looks like a stripped-down Nautilus machine with a couple of seatbelts attached to it. He's going to make them do military presses? Man, what a bad-ass!

I get no thrill from Blueberry Hill. Here's a story, and it's lame: A prison inmate was once crushed to death while trying to escape in the hold of a garbage truck, despite the fact that his sentence was just three short years. I seriously doubt Augustus intended this, but I'm not really having a very hard time sympathizing with that guy right now.

Oz

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