Oz
Family Bizness

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Before we get going, I'm going to get a little sentimental here. If all you're interested in is sex and violence, it's not like I don't get you, but you might want to skip to the next paragraph. In the first place, TWoP lives! Woo! I should have said something in my last recap, but I was too busy melting into a large pile of goo. But really, it means as much to the staff as it does to the users. I've had so much fun recapping, and especially recapping Oz, and I would have been really bummed to see that experience cut short. In a similar vein, I'd like to note that this is my fiftieth recap for TWoP. As I mentioned in the forums, I won't be able to do another one for several weeks, so the timing seems excellent. Also, since I'm currently living in England and therefore can't cover any first-run U.S. shows, it's pretty unlikely that I'll make it to a hundred recaps, so let's celebrate now. Drinks for everyone! Of course, I'm sitting alone writing this. Well, more for me, then. If you come to TARcon, I'll get you there. But seriously, big props to everyone in the Oz forums. You guys are the best. I can't remember the last time I had to do any moderating in that section, unlike another which shall remain Buffy. (Kidding! Don't email me!) And, as always, big snaps to Sars. In memory of the recent blackout, flush your toilets in salute!

Oh, and one other thing: I'm glad this is a milestone recap for me, because this is the best episode of this show I've seen since "Capital P." And now that you're channelling Homer Simpson and chanting, "Less gab, more stab," I'll get on with it. Shanks at the ready, everyone!

Of course, great things often come from inauspicious beginnings, as we open with another edition of Hill's Harlequin Crackhead Monologues. He tells us that all the relationships in our lives are colored by the way we relate to our family. He adds, "No wonder the world's so fucked up!" and gives an Eddie Murphy-as-Cameroon-exchange-student-in-Trading Places "Ha ha ha ha ha!" Hill, in keeping with the point you just made, you're so annoying I want to slap your mama.

Said's doing some research in the library when Schillinger greets him and tells him he read his book. Said: "I don't give refunds." A snarky Said? Yeah, this has potential. Schillinger says he liked it, but Said merely snorts and asks what he wants. Schillinger says that Said is a man who wants to use the law against himself, which Said has said himself in almost exactly the same words. I'd like to note that this episode is chock full of little nods to Continuity, and given the systematic anal rape he took in the later seasons of both Buffy and Oz, it's nice to hearken back to his halcyon days. Schillinger goes on that he too wants to fuck the system, and says he wants Said to defend him at his conspiracy to commit murder trial. Said laughs incredulously, but Schillinger makes his pitch: If Said defends him, an Aryan, it'll stun Glynn and McManus, and rock the outside world. "You'll be known as a man who truly strives for justice, blind to race, unfettered by prejudice." Said, after blinking disbelievingly and giving a dramatic pause long enough for Godot to show up and fill us in on what he's been up to for the past several years, says he'll think about it. You may disagree, but I think this pitch to Said's ego is spot-on. My only problem with this whole idea is that I don't think the Aryan Brotherhood is going to respond too well to Schillinger enlisting Said's help, but I think Schillinger can pitch it in a clever enough manner to convince them. Really, all he'd have to do is flash that grin -- it's enough to scare heaven, hell, and everything in between.

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Oz

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