Okay, I'm back. We get a fantasy overhead shot of Ryan in a glass cage, smoking a cigar and chugging from a flask, as a number of members of the press watch him from below. Even Hill knows how much more fun Ryan makes things, as he laughingly tells us, "Prisoner Number 97P904. Ryan O'Reily." Vehicular manslaughter, reckless endangerment, weapon and controlled substance possession, and parole violation. Life, parole in twelve.

Ryan is in confession with Mukada. Ryan tells him a story about a prisoner pathetically begging him for a cigarette, and him turning the guy down. Mukada asks why, and Ryan tells him he did it to help the guy kick the habit. Mukada's confused as to why Ryan came to confession, as that isn't a sin. Ryan half-turns to look at Mukada: "The truth? I figured when I was done I could sneak a smoke." Mukada thinks, "I really, really shouldn't find that sexy, should I?"

Hill, continuing this week's series of Harlequin Crackhead Monologues, blathers about confessionals. I'll confess something for free: Hill really needs to shut up this week. ["'This week.' Interesting." -- Sars]

Library. Beecher is reading when Ryan enters and feys over to join him. Ryan does his patented little chat-up-some-patsy-who-can-do-him-a-favor routine, and asks if Beecher's a lawyer. Beecher says he was disbarred right after he was convicted, and I'll spare you the obligatory lawyers/criminals joke. Ryan asks why he didn't appeal, and Beecher says he did, but they chose to make an example of him. I daresay they're doing a fine job of it, too. Ryan says his attorney totally rolled over in court, and asks Beecher to review his case and see if there's any possibility for appeal. After a little hesitation, Beecher agrees. The two men introduce themselves, and one of the friendships that I really like is born. There's no sex, no gangs, and no master/prag dynamic. Sure, there's a little heroin, but you can't keep it completely clean. This is HBO, after all.

Religious service. We focus in on Beecher praying as Hill, finally having put down the crack pipe, talks about salvation. Beecher returns to his pod to find a towel-clad Schillinger. Schillinger asks "sweet pea" how church was, and tells him to get dressed, as they're taking a shower. Beecher says he already had one. Schillinger smiles: "Oh, that's okay. When I'm done with you, you'll need another one." He winks, and Beecher sighs and takes off his shirt. Geez, Beecher -- you may not have any choice about getting fucked in the ass, but you don't have to willingly set Schillinger up for these bon mots! Of course, they're hilarious, so if you want to throw your conceptual dignity to the same fate as your corporeal one, I'll laugh along with everyone else.