God's Chillin'

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now!
Depression On A DVD, Part One

Glynn busts into McManus's office and berates him for calling a senator to complain about Devlin's interference in Oz, saying that now they're getting the FBI in to investigate the murders. McManus tries to defend himself, but Glynn basically rips him a new one, although in the process he mispluralizes "memorandum," and stomps out.

Glynn meets some FBI agents at the gate, and welcomes them in. We get a montage of an agent asking various inmates questions, along with Glynn showing other investigators the cell in which Ortolani was murdered, the spot where Post was executed, and the basketball area where Keane had his arranged showdown. McManus comes to see Goldstein, who I assume is the lead investigator. Goldstein immediately tells him he's Jewish. "You don't have a problem with me being Jewish, do you? I mean, you don't think of me as a Christ-killer or anything like that." It really pains me to say it, but I like McManus's response: "Well, I'm not even really sure that Christ died." Understated. Witty. Fitting with the episode's overall theme. Meet Tim McManus, pod person. Get it? "Pod" person? Sorry! Don't shank me! Anyway, McManus divulges that he thinks Keane ordered Post to kill Ortolani, but he doesn't know what happened in the gym, since Keane isn't talking. The guy notes the oddity of Keane and Martinez (the guy who, thanks to Keane, can now see his own neck) being alone in the gym, and McManus agrees that the hacks have probably been involved in two of the murders as well. The guy point-blank asks McManus if he is involved. Timbo's shocked -- SHOCKED! -- that anyone could suspect the bloodiest of bleeding hearts of conspiracy to commit murder, but Pontius Pilate (kidding! He brought it up!) says that he's FBI, and everybody's a suspect. Like Clue, right? Fun! Me in the library with the candlestick, killing McManus! Me in the study with the revolver, killing McManus! I could do this all night!

In a fantasy shot, Hill sits back to back with Alvarez. The seat they're on spins, and there are mirrors all around, leading to infinity-deep reflections. Alvarez isn't wearing a shirt. This is like a fantasy of mine, except for the Hill part. And the part about Miguel wearing pants. Still, I'll take it. Alvarez plays with his hair and mugs for the camera. There's a monologue in there too, but I couldn't tell you for the life of me what it is, nor do I care. What I do care about, however, is that we've reached Alvarez's "What Are You In For?" flashback. My Latin lover gets out of his car and greets some friends in front of a bodega. A car comes in to parallel park behind Alvarez's, and sideswipes it. Alvarez's friends point that out, and he pulls the driver out of the car and starts beating him up. His girlfriend joins in, and he takes a bat and starts whaling on the old dude's car. He pulls a switchblade, and slices the man's face. Oh, so he's always had those pesky anger-management issues. "Prisoner Number 97A413. Miguel Alvarez." Assault with a deadly weapon, fifteen years, parole in two.

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