Good Intentions

Episode Report Card
Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now!
Ghetto Fabulous

Hellfire. Hill. Back from Benchley Memorial and monologuing his little heart out. He's on about that road to hell/good intentions thing, which he terms a "mindfuck." Because attempts at goodness lead to damnation, why try to be good? And if good intentions lead to lots of molten lava, then where do bad ones lead? Why, to Oz, of course.

Pancamo's babbling in bed, delirious from his worsening staph infection. Glenn "Stumpy" Shupe asks Gloria, sporting a base make-up that's at least two shades too dark and makes her face look like pantyhose, to shut him up. Instead, she decides that Shupe can head back to Em City and that Pancamo needs more drugs.

McManus walks in, makes an unwelcome funny about Pancamo, and asks to see Hill, who's in a private room since he's still in bad shape, even though he's finished whatever he was up to last week and has returned to Oz. Hill, who looks about as good as he's supposed to feel, denies that he was trying to kill himself, but McManus takes him through the heroin/catheter sloppiness/renal failure details, in case Hill's fuzzy about exactly what led to the tube in his nose, and asserts that yes indeedy, Hill was at least subconsciously hell-bent on suicide.

Seems the ladies in Hill's life -- or, more specifically, their exit -- led him to the brink. After his mother's death and his wife's desertion, "the walls in Oz got too high, too thick." McManus really couldn't care less, since he's consumed by his own vendetta and was just being polite. He really wants to know who gave Hill the drugs; Hill maintains that the source doesn't matter, since, he says, "What I did I did." But that's not good enough for McManus, who uses DeSanto's perma-trip to convince Hill to snitch. As if Hill doesn't have other, more pressing things to worry about. But, this being the free world's capital of melodrama, Hill musters the appropriate indignation, says that DeSanto was not his dealer, and asks to speak to Redding. McManus refuses, saying, "You got a message for Burr Redding, I'm your AT&T." Oooooooh, nanny nanny. McManus really should give classes in firm, witty rejoinders.

Whoosh! Smart Boy McManus runs straight to Redding to tell him that DeSanto didn't sell Hill the drugs, and reiterates his refusal to let Hill and Redding meet. Shazam! Redding runs down the stairs, past an inquisitive Poet, and demands to see Busmalis. Vroom! Redding drags Busmalis into a pod, slams him against the wall, and asks why he lied. Poet muscles in and encourages Busmalis (with some amusing nods and wide-eyed looks) to admit that he's covering for Guerra, who was, perhaps, the one that sold Hill the drugs. I'm giddy with the rich irony of the prison's leading drug dealer trying to ferret out…a drug dealer. Kerplooey! Redding orchestrates a meeting with Morales, who denies that Guerra supplied the offending substance. Redding calls Morales a liar, Morales advises Redding not to screw up the chocolaty goodness of their pact, Redding jumps Morales, McManus, watching from afar, lunges for his trusty phone, and both Redding and Morales end up, naked and jiggly, in the hole. A small thanks to the director for sparing us the trauma of full frontals from either man. The copious man-boobs were plenty.

Hill again, in front of two mannequins seated at a table. John and Jane Doe, we'll call them, since Hill does. They "go on a diet, eat better, get healthy, live longer." Good, yah? No. Bad. The stress John experiences while trying to lower his cholesterol will kill him. And while Jane eats low-fat, she's jacking up her blood sugar, since those pseudo-healthy products are loaded with sugar to mask their foul taste. Oops. See Jane suffer adult-onset diabetes. Bottled water's next. Now, asks Hill, "What the fuck could be wrong with that?" One word: plastics. So, reveals Hill -- going all John Edward as he zooms over some celestial backdrop in a crystal ball -- as we seal ourselves in a bubble of health, we're actually killing ourselves and destroying the planet.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP