Oz
Great Men

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Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
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No More Mr. Nice Guy

Glynn and McManus march into the hole, where they have the door to Schillinger's cage opened. Glynn hands Schillinger some clothes as McManus informs him that he's being transferred to Unit B. Schillinger: "I'll miss you." Hee. Glynn says that Schillinger is indeed being charged with conspiracy to commit murder, and asks if he needs a lawyer, to which the answer is a resounding "Uh, no." Cut to Schillinger berating his lawyer. He says he wants him to make the charge disappear. The response? "I'm a lawyer, not The Amazing Kreskin." Hee. He basically tells Schillinger that the state's case is airtight, and that he's looking at ten more years. Schillinger suggests a plea bargain, but the lawyer doubts the state would go for it. Schillinger reminds the lawyer that he saw Diane kill Scott Ross (for which she has an eternal place in my heart) but the lawyer says that, while he's demanded an investigation of that allegation, "that horse [sic] won't hunt," probably, as I said in the last recap, because Schillinger's credibility with respect to Diane is now completely tainted. Schillinger asks about his sons. The lawyer thinks they'll turn up, but Schillinger begs him to please find them. The lawyer smiles and says, "You got it." In case you're wondering how sincere that came off, that was Michael on Melrose Place. Schillinger's all, "Could my life suck any worse?"

And because, in Oz, no idle thought goes unpunished, we cut to Beecher entering to mailroom. After he hands off a package from Sister Pete, he goes over and taunts Schillinger, finally getting to: "I manipulated you like the dumb-ass white trash Neanderthal you are. You know, you get to know a lot about a man when he's fuckin' you in the ass!" I'll just leave that one alone, shall I? Schillinger doesn't, however, as he throws a fan at Beecher. Beecher easily ducks, and cackles his way out of the room. Schillinger borrows one of Said's best glowers. Careful, Beecher, payback's a bitch. Actually, I'm thinking payback's going to be Joan Crawford in this case.

Schillinger reads in his new cell. A couple of men who would not be welcome in the Aryan Brotherhood stop by to give him a housewarming present in the form of a good ass-kicking. Well, that was thoughtful of them.

Cafeteria. A slightly battered Schillinger meets with another Aryan, Mack, and complains that the Brotherhood is falling apart. He says they have to take Oz back, and that they need a "roadkill," to show everyone that they're back in the game. Mack agrees. Schillinger says they should whack "the meanest motherfuckin' mutt we can find." Pan down the long table to a nondescript guy who looks like he's trying to convey toughness by clenching his teeth as tightly as possible. "Prisoner Number 98V238. Alexander Vogel." We see him attack a very elderly and barely ambulatory couple from behind with a knife. He repeatedly stabs the man until his blood is splattered across his face. Killing two people who already have one foot in the grave makes you a bad-ass? Not, Tom. Moreover, if this starts a trend where they only introduce characters in order to kill them off immediately, I may be able to mark this moment as the point in the series where the writing started going downhill. Let's hope I'm wrong, huh? Fifty years, parole in thirty. Um, no. Life, parole never, for those aggravating circumstances, if not death. Sheesh, what's going on here? Later, Glynn walks into the gym, and sighs all "oh, shit." Vogel is hanging naked upside down from the ceiling, with the word "JEW" cut into his chest. The "JEW" was cut upside down, so it reads correctly with Vogel hung from his feet. I'd compliment Vern's attention to detail, but we already knew of his proficiency at etching skin.

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