Oz

Episode Report Card
Chuck: B | 833 USERS: C+
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Limp Bizkit

Whew, says McManus, I feel better now that I've unloaded all over you, Gloria. Now that I've introduced our next vignette, I'm going to wrap up this 45-second "cup of coffee" with a kiss and go get hammered while you stare at the Italian.

Crimetime. So there's a guy who's been buried up to his neck, and there's this amped-up-looking biker guy in a Darth Vader motorcycle helmet, and there's a giant swine standing and yelling next to the biker guy, and then the biker guy runs right over the buried guy's head, and there's a wet crunching sound. As gross as that is, Robson's mouth is grosser.

Biker Guy is Wolfgang Cutler, and he's one mean dude.

Wolfgang Cutler wants into the Brotherhood. He says so in the gym. Schillinger, pecs dancing, tells Wolfgang Cutler that fearlessness must be shown. Fearlessness to kill the dusky. Franklin's posing against the chain link fence like Kim Wilde. Wolfgang suggests Said; Schillinger approves in a non-self-implicating way. An undercover Gavin Rossdale, transformed with spectacles, overhears and races off to tell Omar, asleep under a book, the shocking news. Omar's eyes dart, and the countdown accelerates. Omar confronts Cutler in the mailroom, but Cutler denies the plot. Omar communicates in the strange language that only he understands and warns Cutler, "Don't make me angry -- you won't like me when I'm angry." Cutler postures, and Omar flips to the tune of two headbutts, a headlock, and lots of "fucks," which reduces the cursing Cutler to a non-breathing, death-like state. Omar, terrified of his own bad self, administers mouth-to-mouth and revives Cutler before scurrying off to tell Said.

Said, after managing to calm Omar down enough to figure out what the fuck's happening, says, "You follow me, you do not stop," which is perhaps a gentle reminder to Arif, and strides out of the pod, posse in tow. Said needs theme music. The gang heads straight for McManus, where what must have been a full confession provokes everyone's least favorite do-gooder into a spitting fury. As Ellie watches from the couch, McManus confronts his crushing failure with rage before deciding to "[play] by the rulebook" for the first time in his life, and he ships Omar off, despite Said's protestations, to solitary.

In the hall, McManus assures Ellie that his outburst wasn't for her benefit. Because he knows she's so obsessed with him that she thinks everything he does is all about her. As she signs out at the front desk, she decides that this would be a great time to tell McManus, and selected eavesdropping staff members, why she really divorced him. Wasn't Em City, she reveals. It was, she rails, switching her face into monologue contortion gear, because you're a cloying, self-centered, maudlin, deluded, puffed-up idealist who thinks that saving the world means transforming everyone into exactly what you want them to be. Looks like Ellie's got a number, and I think it's Tim's.

Oz

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