Back in the library, Rebadoze waits tensely by the phone. Oh, Christ. They've even got copies of Hill's book all laid out on the desk, perfectly placed to give you a subliminal urge to head straight to Barnes & Noble the instant the show is over. A guard comes by and demands that Rebadow return to his cell for count, and even threatens him with "the hole" if he refuses. I'm not sure which is worse, the thought of seeing Rebadoze's cottage-cheese ass, or the thought of what he and Pablo might discuss down there while they're both naked and thinking of Patti. Ew.

After lights out, Rebadoze and Busmalis are chatting in the Grumpy Old Pod. It's all very grumpy and old, but spirits are lifted when McManus taps on the window and delivers a jaunty thumbs-up. Sigh. I guess Patti is still alive, after all. Man, where's Gene Siskel and his downward-pointing thumb when you really need him? Oh, that's right. He's dead.

More Sallycize. Or, as Urbano puts it, "It's time to exercise the old fantasy muscle." Ew. Again. This whole scene is pretty much just an excuse for the boys to taunt Busmalis about his impending wedding, especially because the last time around, Norma left him at the altar to get pregnant by another man. It's all very cute and well-intentioned, but the whole thing goes off the rails when Busmalis gets up and announces, "Well, to all you lonely and horny naysayers with no one but Rosie Palm and her five sisters to love you, I say this: 'Right here, baby.'" This last is accompanied by the truly unholy sight of Busmalis grabbing his crotch, jumping up and down, and shouting, "Right in my big blue balls!" Wow. Just…wow. After much careful deliberation, I've decided to rank that at number four on my all-time list of The Most Horrifying Things I've Ever Had To Recap, just behind The Spoon, Janice and Joey, and naked Stilgar. At least Reggie manages to get off a good line. "The brat was conceived on what should have been your honeymoon," he says. "That's even freakier than cloning." Hee!