Junkyard Dawgs

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
The Pest Savant at the End of the Universe

After no one answers his repeated knocks (I guess he learned THAT lesson), Timbo opens Leo's office door to find the lights out and the room empty. The reason it's empty, by the way, is that Leo is staggering down a darkened hallway with blood spilling down the front of his ruffled white tuxedo shirt. Ha! I bet he's wishing he'd sprung for those sixty-watters now, right? We cut back and forth between McManus discovering a blood trail and Leo frantically trying to make it down the hallway. He finally arrives at the party, where everyone is too busy dancing to Santana to notice that their boss is dying right in the middle of the room. Finally he collapses into a table, and the entire female component of the Oz staff (sadly sans Claire, of course) rushes to his side. Gloria tries to resuscitate him, but it's to no avail. And then Timmy walks in just in time to hear the news. Farewell, Warden Leo Glynn. You were arrogant, incompetent, and ineffectual, but we'll always have Ghostbusters, and I'm thankful for that.

Hmm. Looks like the ball wasn't being held in the gym, because here's Timmy, pacing the meditative maze. And Torquemada thinks Destiny is addictive! Trust me, it's got nothing on the maze. He's joined by Ellie, and McManus takes this opportunity to provide some critical survival tips should you ever find yourself trapped in a labyrinth. Just so you know, always keep your hand on the right-side wall, and try to avoid the minotaurs whenever possible. The conversation quickly turns to the shambles of their marriage, and Timmy finds himself comforting the ex-wife he just caught canoodling with his newly-deceased boss while she sobs about how much she loved the man. Oh, please. All she ever did was fondle his tie and yell at him for being stupid. And while it's true that those two things would totally constitute the basis for a successful relationship if I were one of the parties involved, I still have a hard time accepting true love between two characters who had less than three minutes of screen time together all season. Whatever.

We wrap things up with Johnson paying Kelch a little visit, presumably to ensure that this episode's death toll wins a Lifetime Achievement Award of its own. I count four. Anyone know an episode with more? And then Hill makes one last appearance to remind us that prisoners are people, too, and not just junk to be discarded. At least I think that's what he said. I threw out my notes when I realized his was the only scene left.

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