Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!

If I have to see one more interview where Tom Fontana tells the story behind how he became the one to get the Oz tattoo for the opening credit sequence, I'll scream.

Hill explains that he used to be a runner, and then explains the difference between a runner and a marathoner. We pan out to reveal a bunch of people behind Hill, running on treadmills. I think one of those guys is in the Tae Bo videos. Hill thinks marathons are "bullshit," because some official decides when you run and "there's some things, it's better to do all by yourself."

Claire walks through solitary, opening the little panels in the doors to check on each prisoner. When she gets to Alvarez's cell, she proclaims, "Holy shit!" and rushes in to cut him down from the noose he has created from a bed sheet. Wouldn't someone with all of Alvarez's mental problems be on a suicide watch? Alvarez is rushed to the infirmary, where Gloria works on him while her Evil Boss looks on, dismayed. Man, that Evil Boss has some weird eyebrows. He looks like he's about to fly away, flapping them like wings.

Cut to Gloria yelling at her boss, saying, basically, "I told you so." Remember, she fought to keep Alvarez on antidepressants, and her boss thought it was too expensive? They're in a meeting with Glynn, McManus, and Sister Pete. Evil Boss and his eyebrows make some reference to Gloria being gone soon anyway, and Sister Pete looks surprised. Leo asks if Alvarez is going to live, and Gloria confirms that he is. Sister Pete tells Evil Boss and his eyebrows that the next time he withholds medication, the patient might die. Evil Boss and his eyebrows say that the government contracted with his company to run the prison health care system, and he has "complete autonomy" to make "judgment calls." He storms out of the room. McManus looks disgusted and tells Leo, "This is bullshit." Leo says that Evil Boss and his eyebrows are right -- Leo has no authority in this matter. McManus wonders what they can do, and they all sit there, stumped. Finally, Gloria says, "Go public." Leo arches an eyebrow (a very normal eyebrow) and smiles.

Cut to Gloria shaking some guy's hand as he leaves. Evil Boss and his eyebrows walk in and ask who that was. Gloria tells him it was a reporter who wanted an interview about Alvarez. Evil Boss and his eyebrows are all, "You didn't tell him..." Gloria says she did, since he fired her and she has nothing to lose. Evil Boss and his eyebrows say he'll play it off like she's just a disgruntled ex-employee. Gloria says that might work, but the next time someone dies, Evil Boss and his eyebrows won't have anyone to blame. She advises Evil Boss and his eyebrows to get a red tie, because "it'll look better on camera," and walks off. That Gloria is a smooth operator. Evil Boss and his eyebrows pick up a phone and call someone, saying that it's an emergency. Gloria walks over to check on Alvarez, and looks back at her Evil Boss and his eyebrows, probably thinking, "You are so played right now."

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