Medium Rare

Episode Report Card
Megyn: B+ | Grade It Now!
Return of the Jab-eye

Officer Murphy explains to the cameras that Emerald City was started by McManus, and it allows the prisoners to have much more leeway than the average prisoner. Just then, Hoyt offers a glimpse of his goods as he shakes it for the camera, and I give thanks to whoever hired the HBO fluffer. Ally's not impressed. First up for interviews is Beecher. Ally asks him to describe what it's like to go from a prominent family to Oswald resident. He plays coy, but she cuts to the chase by reminding him that he once defecated on a prisoner's face, then asks him about the nature of his relationship with Keller. Beecher deadpans that they sing in the choir together.

Next up, Keller. She asks him if there are a lot of drugs in Oz. Keller pantomimes adding numbers in the air, then says, "I dunno." Sheedy: "Okay, how about sex?" Keller: "Is that an invitation?" Ally makes with the guffaw and scrunches her face. He asks innocently if by sex, she means deep-rooted love or ass-fucking. She confirms that ass-fucking is indeed what she is asking about. Keller snerks, "Shit happens." Heh. Ally doesn't even bat a squinty eye as she returns with the question of whether he has either given or received. He asks why he would tell her one way or the other; she then asks about Beecher. The expression of shutting down slides across his face when he says they just sing in the choir together. What? They rehearsed this?

We cut to Busmalis and Rebadow as Busmalis admits he's nervous in front of the cameras. Enter Ally, who launches into questions about Beecher and Schillinger. Busmalis flips out and tells her to get the fuck out of his face. Rebadow smirks.

Beecher lies in his cot as Keller enters and threatens him about talking to the cameras about their relationship. Keller reaches out to stroke his arm, and Beecher tells him to get the fuck out. See the theme here? Everyone is telling everyone else to get the fuck out. There's your story, Lois Lane. Write it up. We hear the call for shakedown. We see the shakedown. They shake someone down.

We cut to "group." Keller says he takes drugs because he knows they're destructive. Beecher accuses him of being a poser for the cameras. O'Reily tells Beecher he's ruining it for everyone. They quarrel. Beecher insinuates to Ryan that he and Keller are only friends since Adebisi's death. More quarreling. Sister Pete tells the cameraman to turn the camera off, because it wouldn't be right if they didn't either cover the cameras with their hands or yell for them to shut down. Ally clutches her clipboard to her chest.

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