Medium Rare

Episode Report Card
Megyn: B+ | Grade It Now!
Return of the Jab-eye

Hill. Journalists, supposed to be impartial, yadda yadda, Walter Cronkite, he had him a poker face. That old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.

Kitchen. White annoyingly sing-songs to Ryan how grateful he is about getting hooked up with the cafeteria job. Ryan says, "No problem! C'mere, pssst! I got a little somethin' somethin' for ya." Lured by promise of pretty bunnies, White takes the joint Ryan offers and smokes it RIGHT IN PLAIN SIGHT! Jeez! Is anyone guarding this place? ["I get the impression that the kitchen is practically untouchable unless a fight breaks out. Don't ask me why." -- Sars] Ryan cuts to the chase by mentioning oh-so-nonchalantly that Omar is the one who will be spending the night in the pod with Jack. White inhales and does the talk-whilst-in-mid-inhale. It's okay, though, because I do speak Pot. He says he's gonna be famous like ah ah…Bart Simpson. And he seems pleased with himself. That's all I could make out. Ryan says he hopes Jack doesn't disrespect him, since Ryan heard he (Jack) called Omar a faggot. This is the ultimate insult to White, who objects that he ain't no MF'in faggot! Ryan calms him: "I know, I know, but they do this on TV for ratings." Ryan continues to enrage Omar until Pancamo breaks up the fun by telling Ryan the eggs won't fry themselves. Ryan leaves Omar with one last thought: "If I were you, tonight, when I was alone with that cocksucker, I'd teach him a thing or two."

Cut to Jack with Ally in the lobby. She's frosty. They discuss with a random assistant what he found out about Ryan. Turns out that Jack once did a piece on gangs when Ryan and Cyril were around sixteen years old, and he interviewed both Ryan and Cyril. Lisa asks irritably if Jack made them look bad; the guy says yes, indeed he did. Jack wants to see the tape.

Switch to Murphy walking Jack through the nightly routine. Five o'clock is lockdown, nine o'clock lights out. Ryan walks into the common room with Omar; Omar sees Jack and starts wigging out. As Omar advances towards Jack, Ryan feebly tried to stop him but fails. Omar walks up the stairs to confront Jack while Ryan panics. Ryan stops at the bottom of the stairs, looking pained. The guards drag Omar away after he yells for a bit and pulls a shank, which he uses on a guard's hand. Murphy calls for lockdown. Ryan covers his face and wonders at the bad luck of it all.

Later, Murphy, Glynn, and McManus meet with Ally and Jack regarding their safety. Now they have to reassign Jack to another inmate. He chooses Cyril. You guys see where this is going? No? Me neither. Oh wait, a telegram just came…it's from Toledo. Oh…okay. I'll just move on.

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