Oz

Episode Report Card
Megyn: C | 772 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Ryan's Hope

Everyone walks out, and Tim sidles up to Leo and tells him he needs a teammate. Leo laughs, "You're looking at the wrong guy." McManus pouts and reminds Glynn helpfully that he "loves basketball." Glynn agrees, but he's not about to go up against Jackson. McManus's pout puffs and lengthens to the floor, tripping him as he leaves. Next, in the locker room for the severely fashion-challenged, Tim approaches his life-partner, Murphy, who ties his shoes and stands up to show us his manly chest, encased in a plaid ace bandage masquerading as a shirt. Tim asks Murphy to play with him in the game. Murphy declines, and takes it a step further by saying he thinks McManus should "call the game off." Because it's bad for them, and all of the hacks are going to "take a lot of shit when [McManus] lose[s]." He points out that McManus hasn't played for twenty years, and that he also just got out of the hospital. Enter Claire just as McManus tells Murphy to fuck off and Murphy calls him an "asshole." Claire mocks Tim, "Whatsa matter? Timmy can't find anyone to throw the ball to?" I'm just praying she doesn't take her shirt off. Tim leaves, and we see him walking down a gray hallway, literally puffing and pouting when he hears the beautiful sound of Dave, the hack, shooting baskets. Tim sees him make ONE shot and says, "You're good." Dave's like, "Oh yeah?" and shoots another basket. McManus pops a woody and says, "Really good." Please -- I can make two shots but I don't think it makes me a basketball player. Dave starts explaining his convenient past in college basketball, blah blah had a scholarship, yadda yadda scalped tickets, "thrown out of school and here he is" kind of thing. Tim pretends to listen, waits till he's done, and…action! "Listen, uh, I challenged Jackson to some two-on-two, so, you wanna be my running mate?" Dave does. Dave is a knob.

Tim's office. In walks Busmalis: "You wanted to see me?" "Busmalis, come in!" Busmalis: "Sit?" McManus: "Stand." Heh. Cute. They amuse me. Bring them to my tent! Where was I? Oh! So, Tim asks Busmalis if he ever played basketball. "No." Ever play any sports? "No." Busmalis says he was "the guy with the towel." Aw. You gotta love him. McManus tells him to introduce himself to Jackson because he's "his new teammate." Next, the basketball tournament is about to start as we see Busmalis enter the gym wearing shorts. It doesn't really help that I'm seeing two of him at this point, either. The crowd goes wild. They boo when McManus and Dave enter. Leo steps up to the soapbox. "As you all know, this is the best of a three game series. Due to the fact that our court is smaller than regulation, the game will run full-court. We'll set the clock at twenty minutes. Each team gets one time-out, and the three-point line is in effect." Then he tells them to either "hoop it up" or whoop it up." I can't tell. The game starts. There are even cheerleaders! Fox and Dave really kick some ass while McManus pretends he's the best basketball player ever and Busmalis doesn't get any screen time. We see the clock at almost time, and Busmalis throws an unlikely basket which is of course the winning shot. We see Rebadow cheer. The inmates win 56-30. All the inmates start singing. It's pretty funny, actually.

Oz

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