Orpheus Descending

Episode Report Card
Megyn: C- | Grade It Now!
Ryan's Hope

The gym. Reverend lifting weights. And that would be the brotherhood approaching him. He sits up and asks if there's a problem. Vern, leaning over him, says, "You've been a comfort to me, Reverend, so I'm gonna let you live…but don't you ever meddle in the affairs of the brotherhood again." Then he starts quoting a passage from the Bible, and Samuel L. Jackson calls his bank to check the balance in his checking account while Dylan stares up at Vern with a frozen expression. When they leave, Dylan is visibly shaken. Good scene on Luke Perry's part. I've got to say, he's done pretty well during his stint on Oz.

Solitary. Robson is led to his new home. As they open the cell, we hear Ryan say, "What's up, half-dick?" Robson spits at him but Ryan ducks, laughing, and continues delivering the lunches. He slides a tray into Alvarez's cell -- but we don't see Alvarez. He continues on down to Jenkins's cell and, when the tray isn't taken, Ryan opens the window and peers through. He informs Smith, the guard, that Jenkins doesn't "look so hot." Smith investigates, and we see that the young lad has hanged himself. Ryan appears unaffected and makes an un-funny comment about chicken nuggets before showing us his bald spot as he leaves.

Jackson's cell. He sleeps while a rat kicks it on his chest. He awakens in a panic and yells to the guard that they need to call pest control. Unfortunately, if they do that, McManus will be exterminated. Cut from pointless scene to Fox playing some hoops. In walks McManus to criticize his "follow-through." Meaningless male banter ensues, which basically results in McManus challenging Fox to a game where McManus picks the best CO and Fox picks the worst inmate. If Fox agrees, McManus (of fucking course!) will "bring him back to Em City." Cut to the staff meeting, where Leo dumbly repeats, "Basketball tournament?" while McManus stands and excitedly explains his hare-brained scheme that smells of past schemes. Claire echoes the drumming in my skull with "Here we go again." McManus asks what she means. She snips, "What if something goes wrong?" He defends himself: "Nothing is going to go wrong." She reminds him about the boxing fiasco which resulted in a death. Tim whines that "basketball isn't boxing." Which explains why it's a good idea, um, not at all. Leo mentions that the gym won't accommodate the same number of inmates as it did with the boxing matches. McManus suggests using "good behavior as the price of admission." Leo mulls it over, searching for any loophole which might cause him to lift a damn finger; finding none, he nods and says, "All right." The meeting ends on Claire's eye roll.

Everyone walks out, and Tim sidles up to Leo and tells him he needs a teammate. Leo laughs, "You're looking at the wrong guy." McManus pouts and reminds Glynn helpfully that he "loves basketball." Glynn agrees, but he's not about to go up against Jackson. McManus's pout puffs and lengthens to the floor, tripping him as he leaves. Next, in the locker room for the severely fashion-challenged, Tim approaches his life-partner, Murphy, who ties his shoes and stands up to show us his manly chest, encased in a plaid ace bandage masquerading as a shirt. Tim asks Murphy to play with him in the game. Murphy declines, and takes it a step further by saying he thinks McManus should "call the game off." Because it's bad for them, and all of the hacks are going to "take a lot of shit when [McManus] lose[s]." He points out that McManus hasn't played for twenty years, and that he also just got out of the hospital. Enter Claire just as McManus tells Murphy to fuck off and Murphy calls him an "asshole." Claire mocks Tim, "Whatsa matter? Timmy can't find anyone to throw the ball to?" I'm just praying she doesn't take her shirt off. Tim leaves, and we see him walking down a gray hallway, literally puffing and pouting when he hears the beautiful sound of Dave, the hack, shooting baskets. Tim sees him make ONE shot and says, "You're good." Dave's like, "Oh yeah?" and shoots another basket. McManus pops a woody and says, "Really good." Please -- I can make two shots but I don't think it makes me a basketball player. Dave starts explaining his convenient past in college basketball, blah blah had a scholarship, yadda yadda scalped tickets, "thrown out of school and here he is" kind of thing. Tim pretends to listen, waits till he's done, and…action! "Listen, uh, I challenged Jackson to some two-on-two, so, you wanna be my running mate?" Dave does. Dave is a knob.

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