He then immediately reports back to Vern, who is now sporting a pair of stylized eyeballs that have been tattooed onto the back of his head. They're cool, and they kind of make his skull look like a demented Tubey, but I still like my "TWoZ" idea better. Schillinger is shocked to hear that Beecher saved the mayor's life, and this revelation is quickly followed by Sister Pete telling Tobias that Schillinger would like a chance to express his gratitude. Beecher is suitably suspicious, and when Vern arrives in Sister Pete's office for their little chat, he can barely bring himself to listen to the guy. Schillinger explains that Mayor Loewen has always supported his family, and even gave him plane tickets once when he couldn't afford a honeymoon. So, in return for Beecher's actions, Vern promises not to do anything to mess up his parole. "If you can get out of the fuck hole," he says, "go." "Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying," replies Beecher. "I can give you a list as long as my tattooed ass of all the things you told me that were 'true.'" Hee! I've so got to find a way to work that line into my daily conversations. Schillinger can't understand why Toby saved the mayor if he didn't want anything in return, and this affords Beecher the opportunity to proclaim that even after all his time in Oz, his first instinct on seeing a dying individual is still to try and save his life. In other words, he's ready to be paroled.
So it's a good thing the parole board is having a meeting then, isn't it? You know, the meeting that was postponed because of the lockdown? And then never mentioned again, even though it clearly couldn't have been postponed for very long? Yeah, that one. In a scene that's remarkably anticlimactic when you consider that we've been building towards it for almost six years, Beecher is quickly granted his unconditional release. Except, of course, for those last few plot-point-mandated days he'll have to hang around while all the paperwork is completed. Gee, you don't think anything bad will happen to him during that time, do you? I sure hope not. A stunned Beecher shuffles out of the room, where he finds Sister Pete and asks her if he's still dreaming. Once assured that he isn't, he scoops her up into his arms and dances her down the hallway. Incidentally, can any of you Catholics out there let me know how many Our Fathers you have to say as penance for shouting, "Holy fucking Christ!" while bear-hugging a nun in prison?