Oz

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 299 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic

A shirtless Alvarez complains that he hates lockdowns. Sorry, Migs, but I'm liking what I'm seeing so far. He says he's "fiending for some fucking tits," and we see that his podmate is now Groves, which is a new, and potentially awesome, development. Groves understates that drugs are bad. Alvarez opines that he had to be high when he ate his mother. Groves: "My mom told me that drugs are bad." Hmm. Looks like she forgot the "killing and eating your parents is bad, too" lecture. Alvarez keeps shifting in front of the door like a caged animal. To borrow a technique from Demian: Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Slow-forward. Groves tells Alvarez that he likes his scars. Alvarez: "Now I know why McManus put us in the same cell together. You're the only motherfucker in Em City who's more fucked up than I am." Groves eases forward to the front of the top bunk, and offers Alvarez some stamps. Alvarez says he doesn't want to write to anyone, but Groves says to lick the back, adding that it's coated with LSD. Alvarez runs his tongue over the paper as Groves giddily smiles. Alvarez: "You give stamp collecting a whole new meaning, baby." Pause. Rewind. You get the idea. And I gotta say, El Scorcho here would have chemistry with anyone on the planet. I think I'd find a scene with him and Busmalis hot, and that's a frightening thought, isn't it? ["Well, I'm 'afraid' I'm going to have to fire you now, because ew." -- Sars]

Oz

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