Straight Life

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic

Hill tells us that drugs aren't the only thing you can get addicted to. Dude, you should see some of the TV shows I've watched religiously over the years.

Diane enters McManus's office and says she feels responsible for Markstram's death. We get exposition that someone confessed to the murder, but Diane says that maybe McManus was right that she's doing a shitty job. Diane, while I'm not saying you shouldn't acknowledge your feelings, there are better ways to do so than by telling McManus he's right. If you want, I'll email you the first billion I think of. McManus invites her to his place after work, and if that's an attempt to buttress her flagging self-esteem, it redefines "misguided." And "nauseating." Diane says she has to see her daughter, and McManus ups the sick-making quotient by saying that he wants to meet her, like, isn't traumatizing one female in the family enough? He tells her he loves her, and says that she's supposed to say, "I love you too, Tim." No, she's only supposed to say that if she's as much of a tampon of emotional need as you are, you horrendously self-involved ape. Diane tells him that what they did on the night of Keane's execution "was really fucked up," and while those words don't even come close to describing the horror of that scene, I'm glad Diane is at least trying to be honest about it. McManus isn't the slightest bit put off by this declaration, which makes me wonder if it's something he's heard many times before, and tries to pull her in for a kiss, but a noise alerts them to the fact that another hack can see them, and they desist. Thank you, Unidentified Hack. Diane says she came up to get the file on the "new arrival." Upon learning his name is "Scott Ross," Diane breathes a world-weary sigh, but says it's nothing she can't handle. Well, if you can handle looking down and seeing McManus's shiny head between your thighs, I can't imagine that much would faze you, dear. Uch. Maybe I'll have a little lye with that whiskey.

We see Ross getting photographed upon his entrance to Oz, and then get his flashback. He rides into an abandoned warehouse on a motorcycle and meets a couple of skinheads for a drug transaction. They get busted. "Prisoner Number 97R518. Scott Ross." Life without parole on the three strikes rule. Diane unlocks Ross's handcuffs in the room where new inmates meet their sponsors. He unctuously flirts with her, but she says he won't get any special treatment. She calls his sponsor over, who's some tool wearing camo pants. He asks Ross if he knew Diane on the outside. "Yeah. Me and her ex used to ride together." So your ex-husband was a biker and a hunter, and now you're dating McManus? I guess it's fair to say you don't have a "type," Diane. Ross gets shown into that big pod where Ryan and Beecher have been doing all their drugs. What's the deal with that place?

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