Straight Life

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic

Healy passes the drugs to O'Reily. In the party-size pod, Ryan sells the drugs to two deadbeats, and then Adebisi finds him and tells him to go see Schibetta. They have a little back-and-forth that includes Adebisi grabbing hold of Ryan and telling him to watch his ass. Ryan: "No need. You're too busy watching it for me." It's eerie when the characters speak directly to you, isn't it? Ryan enters the Capod, and Schibetta sits him down. Schibetta gets to the point: he wants Ryan to close down Healy's drug operation. Ryan's all, "Who, me?" for a while, but Schibetta's like, whatever, and promises that he'll take care of Ryan if he sets Healy up. Ryan muses that Healy's been good to him, and Schibetta asks if that's his answer. Ryan stands and says he'll do it. Ryan's movin' on up! To a deluxe a-pod-ment in the sky! Sorry.

Ryan meets with Healy and requests more tits. Healy: "Later." Okay then.

Ryan works the speed bag when Pokelwaldt comes to see him. Ryan tells him he'll give him free drugs if he tells Glynn he's found the drug connection. Pokelwaldt asks whom he's going to bust now. Ryan: "Me." Can I be the arresting officer?

Ryan meets with Healy, but the hacks grab them faster than a plate of fresh doughnuts. Glynn calls for O'Reily to be taken to the Hole as McManus gives Healy a good little slap in the face. Well, it was actually supposed to be a punch, but I thought I'd cut him a break, because it was pretty damn girly. Diane observes all, "Why'd I start running cigarettes in the one episode in which Glynn cares what the hacks do?"

In Glynn's office, Healy tells him he gave Oz everything he had. Glynn does his best Said impression and tosses him out.

Ryan, in the hole. Naked. Yeah. McManus asks him to testify against Healy, but Mickey knows the hacks will kill him if he does, and refuses. McManus says he'll see him in a month. Naked Ryan for a month? McManus, there may be hope for you yet. A hack comes in and asks Ryan who ratted, and Mickey completes his day's work by pointing him Pokelwaldt's way. I knew he'd take care of him. Pokelwaldt get wheeled into the infirmary with severe head trauma. Montage of Ryan going a little nuts in the hole. There are some bigger nuts included as well. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Slow-forward. Finally, with Ryan lying on the floor, the hack enters and tells him he's done. Ryan gives us another dick shot as he rises and says, "Piece of cake." You said a mouthful. So to speak.

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