Oz

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 323 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You Never Forget Your First Time

In his office, Glynn, who happened to be watching Adebisi through his window, turns to Burruano, who says that Schibetta ingested the rat poison that they use in the cafeteria. He goes on that Schibetta said he was eating a chocolate bar Adebisi gave him, but McManus thinks that doesn't mean anything. Oy. I'm not a big fan of Schibetta's, but a little effort to uncover the truth seems appropriate. I suppose as long as McManus doesn't have to lie about it, he doesn't care. Jerk. Glynn lamely tells Burruano to keep investigating, but not to hold his breath. Incompetence, thy name is Glynn.

Burruano comes to see Schibetta, who's preparing to leave the infirmary. Burruano tells him that Glynn isn't going to do anything about Adebisi, and Schibetta says he'll handle it himself. Burruano informs him that "the family" is embarrassed, and that they're unhappy with the way he's running things. He makes the rather specious argument that since his father got fed ground glass over the course of months (if by "months," you mean "days") it proves that his enemies respected him, or something. I think if his insides were slowly torn up over months, he should have checked his goddamned food, but I'm not Sicilian, so I probably don't understand the nuances of being a don. Also, as I said, it was days, not months. Schibetta sounds like he's going to cry, but says he'll get his honor back, and by the end of the day, either he or Adebisi will be dead. You, your anal virginity -- what's the difference?

We get a shot of Poet on Oz TV, looking like he's accepting some sort of award. Whatever. Schibetta returns to Em City, and Ryan snarks that the lunch special is arsenic. Schibetta looks up, and sees Adebisi smiling and dancing on the balcony. Cut to Schibetta in bed, tossing and turning. It's not going to get any easier for you to sleep for a while, Petey. Morning. The kitchen crew enters the cafeteria. Adebisi goes into the supply closet, while Wangler and the others go through a door. Suddenly, Pancamo appears. Adebisi says he doesn't work there anymore, but Pancamo says he has a job to do. A different camera angle shows that Schibetta is now behind Adebisi. He says that it's payday, which coming from someone smarter would be a very clever play on the chocolate bar incident, but in Schibetta's case is just Napoleonic bluster. Schibetta closes the door to the closet; the hack present runs away, clearly having been paid off, and the fight is on. Adebisi picks up a wrench and manages to hit Pancamo in the shoulder before Schibetta gets him in a nelson, but Adebisi slams Schibetta into the door, elbows him in the gut, and head-butts him, leaving him pretty much down for the count. Pancamo recovers to grab Adebisi, but in the ensuing melee Adebisi bites him, and in this case, he's not doing it out of love. Pancamo screams in pain, allowing Adebisi to pick up a metal can and clock Pancamo repeatedly until he's still. Adebisi spits on him, smiles, and puts on his headphones. He grabs Schibetta, who's apparently half-conscious, clears off a table, and throws him on top of it. Adebisi then pulls down Schibetta's pants, and with a "Payday, baby," starts going to town. Schibetta screams, and I don't blame him, considering that the way Adebisi is working his hips takes "bump and grind" to a whole new level. And I might note that this whole chain of events was put into action by the consumption of a candy bar. No wonder they couldn't sell that product placement -- I'm betting "Snickers really satisfies your desire to take it up the ass" didn't go over too big with the focus groups.

Oz

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