Oz

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 327 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You Never Forget Your First Time

And now we're in another prisoner flashback, as LL Cool J, in a bright red pimp outfit, plays poker with three other sketchy-looking guys. He's got four aces and a king. Dude, way to cheat inconspicuously. I imagine that if he took the SAT, he got in the neighborhood of 1600. Although, now that I think of it, the fact that everyone else at the table was in for the call makes me think that he might not have been the only crooked player. Okay, it's possible I'm overthinking the show now, but someone has to, right? Lord knows the writers don't. Anyway, the deception is discovered, guns are drawn, and LL gets the drop on the other guy. I'm still not sure how he made it out alive, but whatever. "Prisoner Number 98W504. Jiggy Walker." Murder two, 28 years, parole in 20. They're doing this thing in this episode where Hill announces this information over a still shot of the crime. I can't think of any reason for this other than it being a stylized affectation, so it's irritating.

Walker gets Rebadow as his sponsor. If LL teaches Rebadow to rock the mike, I am out of here. ["Oh, I think Rebadoze busting out 'Momma Said Knock You Out' in the cafeteria would do a lot for his character." -- Sars] Walker tells Rebadow that he's in prison because he knows too much about the Pernicious Peewee, which makes me happy, because the PP is a worthy antagonist. Rebadow asks what he knows, and Walker tells him he's a crack addict. Rebadow asks how he knows that. Walker: "How you think, bitch?" Hee. I like hearing Rebadow referred to as a bitch, although if anyone demands, "Say my name!" of him, again, I'm out of here. Walker says he's "the governor's drug dealer of choice."

Rebadow dishes to Said as, below, Walker plays poker with Keller, Ryan, and Beecher. Walker shows four aces, again, but Keller says he's got an ace. Whoops. Before anything happens, however, Said appears and asks Walker for a word. Upstairs, Said and Walker pedeconference as Said says that he wants the information about the PP's drug use to go public. Walker asks what's in it for him, but Said tells him that he'll use his media connections to make Walker famous, and if they get rid of the PP, he'll have a good chance to go free. This all just seems kind of silly, but I suppose I should expect more and more of that. Walker agrees to Said's plan, and Said says he'll need dates and times of the drug transactions. Walker says he didn't keep records, but he has a cousin who can corroborate his story. Said tells him to prepare to do a lot of interviews. Are you getting the feeling that this subplot is full of sound and fury?

Oz

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