Strange Bedfellows

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
You Never Forget Your First Time

Okay, smoke a cigarette, get a glass of wine, and do whatever else you need to do, because this is the chapter you've been waiting for. Beecher has the same nightmare he had in the last episode, and wakes up screaming. Keller pops right up to comfort him, and it's clearly worth noting that Beecher no longer pulls away from his touch. Beecher's completely soaked in sweat, beating out the forum posters by about five minutes. He hops down and sheds his clothes, affording Keller the chance to check out his ass. Keller says they should do something about the swastika. Beecher asks what they can do, and Keller says to let him think on it. He caresses Beecher's face, and then lies down. There's a full-body shot of Keller lying down that's rather designed to cause global warming, and don't think Beecher's immune. Unlike me, of course. Sorry, that was just an experiment to see if I would get struck by lightning. Well, I didn't really like my next-door neighbor anyway.

Beecher reports for work in Sister Pete's office. She can tell something's on his mind, and he haltingly asks if two men can love each other to the same degree that a man and a woman can. Pete starts to talk about homosexuality, but Beecher snaps that he's talking about love, not sex, as he had sex with Schillinger, and love didn't enter into it. Oh, come on -- I bet he called you "sweet pea" at least once. Pete asks if he's in love with another man, and Beecher momentarily gets a very schoolgirl grin on his face as he says that he supposes he is. What's the prison equivalent of going steady? Actually, I think Aaron answered that in one of his recaps.

Keller and Beecher whisper to each other during evening count. "You're schmoopy!" "No, you're schmoopy!" Inside, Keller draws on a pad as he tells Beecher that he did some research, and because the swastika was burnt into his flesh, it can't be removed. Beecher's like, duh, but Keller suggests they connect the dots so it's not a swastika any more. Beecher points out the little issue of the blinding pain, but Keller's got the solution, as he produces a bottle of what he says is moonshine. Beecher says thanks, but he's been sober for over a year, and he doesn't want to risk starting to drink again. Keller, playing Beecher like a cheap fiddle, says that he didn't think the plan through, and that's his problem. Beecher tells him that he's cute when he's self-deprecating, and I can hear you all screaming, "JUST DO IT ALREADY!" from across the pond. He asks where Keller got the moonshine, and Keller tells him a friend of his in Unit B rigged up a still. Beecher's face falls all, "Friend? What friend? Is he cuter than me? I'll scratch his eyes out!"

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