Oz
Strange Bedfellows

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
You Never Forget Your First Time

Hill babbles about beds and Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway and, to quote Apu, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T SHUT UP! We see Diane and McManus exchange an ambiguous look. Cut to Shirley, who's making tea in her cell when she sees Diane in the mirror and says a friendly hello. Diane asks if she needs something, and Shirley says that she needs a friend. Shirley, you obviously haven't been to our boards. Diane says it won't be her. Shirley: "Of course. I'm a convicted murderer; you're not." I love the ambiguity of that line -- while it's possible Shirley's just making an innocent observation, it's just as likely that she's heard about Diane killing Ross and is making a very pointed comment here. Diane walks right up to the bars and asks if Shirley sleeps at night, and upon hearing an affirmative, asks how that's possible, given what she did. Shirley calmly tells Diane that she tells people that her daughter's death was an accident, but it wasn't. "It was what had to happen. It was what had to be. And so I sleep. I sleep good." She puts her hand on Diane's, and Diane doesn't pull away, and now I think it's quite clear that Shirley does know, and is offering Diane a kind of comfort. Excellent scene. Diane leaves, and another hack brings Shirley lunch. She warmly thanks him. Cut to her picking up her sandwich to find a note underneath. She opens it to see it reads, "I LOVE YOU." How did Djb get access to her lunch tray? She holds the note to her heart, then, with a smile, writes back, "I LOVE YOU TOO XOXO." Aw. Murderers in love! The note gets delivered to Adebisi, who smiles, kisses it, and puts in under his hat for safekeeping. Move over, Bonnie and Clyde. In fact, why not pull out all the stops and make Natural Born Killers 2 with these two? I'm putting ten bucks aside for when it happens.

In his office, Glynn, who happened to be watching Adebisi through his window, turns to Burruano, who says that Schibetta ingested the rat poison that they use in the cafeteria. He goes on that Schibetta said he was eating a chocolate bar Adebisi gave him, but McManus thinks that doesn't mean anything. Oy. I'm not a big fan of Schibetta's, but a little effort to uncover the truth seems appropriate. I suppose as long as McManus doesn't have to lie about it, he doesn't care. Jerk. Glynn lamely tells Burruano to keep investigating, but not to hold his breath. Incompetence, thy name is Glynn.

Burruano comes to see Schibetta, who's preparing to leave the infirmary. Burruano tells him that Glynn isn't going to do anything about Adebisi, and Schibetta says he'll handle it himself. Burruano informs him that "the family" is embarrassed, and that they're unhappy with the way he's running things. He makes the rather specious argument that since his father got fed ground glass over the course of months (if by "months," you mean "days") it proves that his enemies respected him, or something. I think if his insides were slowly torn up over months, he should have checked his goddamned food, but I'm not Sicilian, so I probably don't understand the nuances of being a don. Also, as I said, it was days, not months. Schibetta sounds like he's going to cry, but says he'll get his honor back, and by the end of the day, either he or Adebisi will be dead. You, your anal virginity -- what's the difference?

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