Oz
Strange Bedfellows

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
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You Never Forget Your First Time

Hill, Lincoln, Jesse James. That's all I could retain.

Night. Rebadow keeps watch as Busmalis digs. Busmalis almost hits a water pipe, and Rebadow says he's having second thoughts about what they're doing. Well, it's not like you can fill the hole back in, so just suck it up, Pops. This conversation gives way to Busmalis telling Rebadow that he thinks of every hole he digs as a woman, a "very special" woman, and that he never married because he couldn't find a woman that could satisfy him in the same way. The psychological issues that statement exposes, combined with the imagery it brings to mind, threaten to cause some serious seepage in my cerebral cortex, so I'll limit my observations to this one: Before you conclude that a hole is more satisfying than a woman, you might, you know, try having sex. Just do it far, far away from a TV camera.

And now we're in another prisoner flashback, as LL Cool J, in a bright red pimp outfit, plays poker with three other sketchy-looking guys. He's got four aces and a king. Dude, way to cheat inconspicuously. I imagine that if he took the SAT, he got in the neighborhood of 1600. Although, now that I think of it, the fact that everyone else at the table was in for the call makes me think that he might not have been the only crooked player. Okay, it's possible I'm overthinking the show now, but someone has to, right? Lord knows the writers don't. Anyway, the deception is discovered, guns are drawn, and LL gets the drop on the other guy. I'm still not sure how he made it out alive, but whatever. "Prisoner Number 98W504. Jiggy Walker." Murder two, 28 years, parole in 20. They're doing this thing in this episode where Hill announces this information over a still shot of the crime. I can't think of any reason for this other than it being a stylized affectation, so it's irritating.

Walker gets Rebadow as his sponsor. If LL teaches Rebadow to rock the mike, I am out of here. ["Oh, I think Rebadoze busting out 'Momma Said Knock You Out' in the cafeteria would do a lot for his character." -- Sars] Walker tells Rebadow that he's in prison because he knows too much about the Pernicious Peewee, which makes me happy, because the PP is a worthy antagonist. Rebadow asks what he knows, and Walker tells him he's a crack addict. Rebadow asks how he knows that. Walker: "How you think, bitch?" Hee. I like hearing Rebadow referred to as a bitch, although if anyone demands, "Say my name!" of him, again, I'm out of here. Walker says he's "the governor's drug dealer of choice."

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Oz

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