Oz
The Routine

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
We're Off To See The Wizard

AIDS ward. Orderliani brings a tray over to "Sanchez," who looks like life chewed him up and spat him out. He's got a few lesions on his face. Sanchez says he's not hungry, but Ortolani says Gloria told him to feed him anyway. When Sanchez refuses, Ortolani starts spoon-feeding him. Sanchez tells him he wants to die. Ortolani: "Open your goddamn motherfucking cocksucking mouth." Must. Refrain. From. Comment.

Finally, a completely boring scene. Gloria berates McManus for giving her Ortolani. McManus asks what he should do, and Gloria suggests she administer Lorazipan, which she says will give him a "great buzz." Sign me up. She tells him to "grow some balls," but McManus asks her to dinner, and after a bit of exposition that she's separated, she accepts. Blech. I'd put you in the minus column for that, Gloria, but going out with him will be punishment enough. There's a disgusting exchange involving McManus and sex that I refuse to recap. I'm saving all my fortitude for the McManus sex scene a few episodes down the line.

4 PM. In the kitchen, Keane bitches to Adebisi that his brother is half-dead because of Ortolani. O'Reily, ever the opportunist, joins the party. Healy barges in and demands to know what's going on. Keane says they're just consoling him about his brother. Healy taunts that his brother's a fag, and asks if he's one too. Keane gets the line of the episode: "Why don't you suck my dick and find out." Adebisi licks his lips. Well, he was off-camera, so I'm just assuming. Healy gives them two minutes to finish up. Keane tells Post to go to the hole and kill Ortolani, but Ryan supplies the info that Ortolani's working the AIDS ward, like, how could they not know that? There's more gossip in Oz than in a quilting circle. Ryan says with a couple of days, he can get Post transferred to the AIDS ward, and Keane signs off on the plan. Ryan feys off, and Post smiles psychotically. I just realized who Ryan walks like -- Stuart from Queer As Folk U.K. And that, my friends, is pretty fucking fey.

In the main area, Ortolani watches TV. Schillinger joins him, and tells him the Aryan Brotherhood is grateful to him for crippling Keane Light. Ortolani is unresponsive. Schillinger says he's trying to give him "a little jizz." So was Keane Light, and look where that got him. Ortolani: "What happened in that shower was between me and the fag boy. It had nothing to do with you, you fucking redneck scumbag. So take your fucking pure white ass and get the fuck away from me." Who would have thought a statement containing the phrase "fag boy" would end up making me like Ortolani more? Schillinger leaves while calling Ortolani a "stupid greaseball," which affords Hill a segue to list a number of racial epithets, the point being that words are weapons. I'll stick with a shank, myself.

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Oz

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