The Routine

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
We're Off To See The Wizard

3 PM. Schibetta, Ortolani, and D'Angelo play cards until D'Angelo drops the bomb that Ryan will be arriving at Oz the next day, although he won't be in Em City. Ortolani gets all hot and bothered, but Schibetta tells him not to do anything unless he says so. Hey, better get it in before the death penalty gets reinstated. Later, in the gym, Ortolani works the speed bag and has a flashback to the shooting. And now we get our first look at the present-day Ryan, as he gets his picture taken in a t-shirt and red briefs. I think I'll use the pause button for a moment. Gotta say, those briefs have a job of work, given what we see later of his endowments. Actually, this is Oz -- I don't have to censor myself. Man's got a big schlong, people. Ryan gets his bedclothes.

5 PM. Hill intones that Oz is where he will die, where most of them will die, and the camera lingers just a little too long on Ortolani. We see that Beecher has taken my advice and ditched the glasses, thankfully. Hill opines that what they were, are, and will be "don't matter."

Sometime in the night, Ortolani wakes up, and puts his face in the sink again. As many times as they want to show Ortolani shirtless is as many times as I'll watch it. I guess that means less coming from the recapper, but you get the idea.

7 AM. The Wise Guys sit. Keane Light hits on Ortolani again. Ortolani calls him a "fucking faggot," but he and Schibetta laugh it off. The mood turns serious, though, when Ryan makes his appearance, wearing a Gen Pop uniform. He and Ortolani stare at each other, and Ryan blows cigarette smoke his way, but Schibetta restrains Ortolani. Ryan has a fey way of walking that he totally makes work, making me love him even more. He marches over to Keane and asks him to take care of some business. Keane's interested at first, but upon hearing that Ryan wants Ortolani offed, informs him, "We don't kill Wise Guys around here." Bide your time, Ryan -- it's what you're best at. Ryan then goes to see Healy, and informs him that his brother says hello. If he's talking about Cyril, I assume there's some boxing connection, but I haven't seen the second or third seasons yet, so forgive me if there's a clearer explanation. Healy lets Ryan in to talk to him. Ryan tells him about his problem with Ortolani, but Healy counters, "You don't have to worry about wasting Ortolani. He's on self-destruct."

1 PM. A shirtless Ortolani goes to take a shower. Keane Light, watching from behind a pole, follows him. Quick montage of the major players in the main area, then cut to the showers, where the first thing we see is Ortolani's fist. It repeatedly connects with Keane Light's face. Ortolani whales on a soon-prone Keane Light until two hacks come in. Ortolani knocks one of them out and burns the other one with hot water from one of the showers, but a third hack appears and manages to get him to the ground. Through a drain in the floor, we see them pummel him. Ortolani of course gets several minuses for that, although the text makes it pretty clear that he was repeatedly provoked. Doesn't excuse it, obviously, but I don't think it's quite the same as actively seeking out gays to bash. And on the plus side, Ortolani gave us our first dick shot. Not the most impressive, by this show's standards, but he was in the shower.

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