Press conference. Devlin announces that, in an effort to cut state spending, he's putting certain services in the hands of outside contractors. He tells the reporters that "Weigert," a private managed-care corporation, is taking over health services in the state's prisons. Devlin introduces "Dr. Frederick Garvey," who's a total H!ITG! and, despite being white-haired, also has the blackest bushiest eyebrows this side of The O.C. Gloria watches warily as Garvey says that they'll be securing "the best talent available," and they hope to keep as many staff members as possible. Gloria? The dictionary called. It would like to know if it could use your facial expression next to the word "cynical."
The bell rings, and Alvarez slowly opens his eyes. Boy, it would be nice to see him first thing in the morning. Especially shirtless, as he is here. Hill intones, "Solitary confinement," which is the second time we've heard about that in the first three minutes, thank you very much, Fontana, but even Guy Pearce in Memento would still remember that. Alvarez takes a piss in all his shirtless glory (yes, I know that's the second time I've mentioned he's shirtless, but some things are actually worth repeating) as Hill tells us that in the 1800s, Alexis de Tocqueville came to the U.S. to study our penal system. I guess that Bastille Day thing got the French thinking. Alvarez sadly (for us) gets dressed as Hill says that although, back in day, people believed that solitary confinement offered prisoners the opportunity for quiet reflection, the truth is that "no man wants to spend that much time thinking about himself all day." Tell that to David Blaine.
Doctor Eyebrows expresses incredulity to Gloria that Alvarez is on 200 milligrams of Zoloft a day. Nice to know that before the Pfizer product-placement people got to Everwood, they were in Oz. That means I've followed the path of the Pfizer product-placement people. Well, I'm glad I know this recap is going to kill me, or I'd have to make other arrangements. Gloria explains that Alvarez has a history of depression and suicidal tendencies, but Eyebrows doesn't see the need to keep him on the medication. Perhaps if he knew what kinds of cleanup jobs are in store for the custodial staff, he'd reconsider out of sympathy. Gloria tries to tell Eyebrows that Alvarez could be a danger to himself, but Eyebrows sits firm: As of tomorrow, no more Zoloft. Bye, Pfizer!