The Truth And Nothing But…

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Meeeooow! (Fffft!)

The Muslims bitch about how the judicial system is prejudiced towards blacks, and then Said exposits that they're bringing a class-action suit on behalf of the inmates injured in the riot against the state. Arif tells us that their hope is that the courts rule in their favor. Wow, Arif, you must really have taxed your brain with that one. Maybe you should lie down -- I'll wake you when the episode is over. I promise. The new dude Said's sponsoring, who I'll tell you now is named Khan and is also played by Ernie Hudson Jr., asks Said if he's going to be the lawyer in the case, and he says yes, along with one of the country's top litigators, an "Arnold Zellman." Khan spits, "A Jew?" Said tells him to rein that in, like, word, Minister, and goes on that they need to be ecumenical at a time like this. He says that he has a meeting with Scott Ross's sister, and I can't believe that I can't get through a single recap without a mention of Ross, especially since he died OVER A SEASON AGO. God.

Said meets with Ross's sister, a Poor Man's Laura Linney, who's teary as she says that she never visited Ross in Oz, and that they weren't close and didn't share the same mother. This scene is boring to start, and I'm about to give up on it completely when Said asks her if she'll join the lawsuit. She says no, and he's shocked and asks why. PMLL: "I grew up with Scott. He was a mean boy, and he became a mean man. I don't know much about how things work, about how the other prisoners behaved, but my guess is if the guards used excessive force on Scott he probably deserved it." You go, Poor Man's Laura Linney. Said can't help but smile a bit, although he does urge her to reconsider, as he's trying to stop brutality. She admits that she knows what it's like to be treated badly, and he intensely says that he can see that. So are these two going to do it, or what? They shake hands for about a billion years, which Schillinger observes.

Cafeteria. Schillinger sits down blustering about "mixing of the races." Said asks what he's on about, and Schillinger says he saw Said with "that piece of trailer-park trash." Considering you were probably sleeping with her brother, I don't know why you're all high and mighty here, Vern. Said claims that it was a business meeting. Schillinger: "What kind of business? Monkey business?" It's wrong, but hee. That's enough to get Said's followers to their feet, and the Aryans respond in kind. Their leaders tells them to sit right back down, but Schillinger needles the Muslims to ask Said why he's "making goo-goo eyes at a white girl." Said claims that's not true, but if you want to convince anyone, Said, you might want to say it in a voice less quavery than Beecher's grandmother's.

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