To Your Health

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
Pass The Pepto, Please

As we see the Em City inmates lined up in the open area to get their mail from Schillinger, Hill tells us that six percent of the U.S. prison population is 55 or older, which is double the number from ten years earlier. Great. Hill's monologue is going to lead me directly to Rebadow. I thought suffering was supposed to lead to enlightenment, not more suffering. Then again, this is Oz. Rebadow opens his package to reveal brownies, but someone takes the box from him, and then Wangler punches him in the face. Wangler, pick on someone as annoying as yourself. Oh, that's right, you were. In the prison hospital, Gloria attends to Rebadow as McManus watches. This scene flows into a roundtable discussion wherein the more humanist-minded among the staff propose turning Unit 2 into a seniors-only area. Again, great. I really want to see some geezer get his throat cut just as he yells out, "Bingo!" Glynn then steps on my bingo punchline. Watch it, dude. After hearing it from Mukada, Gloria, and Pete, Glynn notes that McManus has been quiet. Don't look a gift mute in the mouth, Leo. McManus sulkily admits that it's a good idea. I see I'm going to be dealing with some deep-seated issues of McManus's here too. Can I abort this recap? I'm very early along here. Glynn agrees to run the idea by the Commish, and adjourns the meeting. Gloria stays to inquire if McManus is okay, and asks him to dinner. McManus: "Dinner? You think I'm an asshole." Well, even assholes have to eat, Timbo. And how does "think" enter into it? McManus sniffs that he doesn't need a "mercy dinner." How about a last meal?

McManus interrogates a handcuffed Wangler in his office, and tells him that Rebadow is in the hospital. The response is tepid, a temperature familiar to me, but McManus says that he's pissed off, and that "you don't hit old men." He huffs that if he tells them to, the guards will kick Wangler's ass. I wouldn't be opposed to that action, but don't you think you could do it yourself, considering that he's tied to a fucking chair? Wuss. Anyway, Wangler blusters that he's not afraid of anything, but McManus asks him if he's afraid of dying, and starts choking him until he falls backward to the ground. Hmm. I'm something more than completely unimpressed. It'll pass, though. Richard Gere and some other hack take Wangler away, as McManus looks like a trip to PCP detox would be quite appropriate. We won't see that until later in the episode, though.

McManus is lifting weights in the gym when Glynn enters. They switch to a long shot as McManus does incline bench presses, which makes me wonder if they subbed a stunt lifter in for Terry Kinney. Glynn asks McManus if he's okay, saying that he's been different for the past few weeks. And there are so many ways he could have been different in a positive sense. Shame. Glynn breaks the news that the Commissioner rejected their senior-citizens unit proposal, but McManus opines that it was "Governor Fuckwad" who was behind it. Nice try, McManus, but "Pernicious Peewee" blows your effort away, so shut it. Glynn reassures him that the PP is almost out of office, as he's on trial for fraud and corruption. I'll spare you the obligatory Marion Barry joke. Glynn says that he hears McManus has been living at Oz, and that he's worried Oz will take away his soul. Slow down, Leo -- if it makes him more interesting and less self-righteous, who are you to stand in the way?

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