Oz
To Your Health

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Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Pass The Pepto, Please

Cafeteria. Arif (where'd he come from?) reads aloud to his brothers, when Ross turns around and loudly tells him to "shut the fuck up." Dude, out of all the people I want to say that to on this show, Arif is way down the list. Unlike you. Shut the fuck up, Ross. Anyway, Mershah heads for Ross, but Said steps between them, and after a hack gets there, Said tells Mershah to sit down. Ross disses Said, and then does the same to a hack, who leads him off. We don't get any nudity here, which is just as well, if you ask me. Later, Mershah complains that Ross was making fun of the word of God. Said: "God does not need you to defend him from a moron." Nice one. He goes on that "skirmishes" such as the one earlier detract from their overall religious efforts. Mershah is sporting an attitude more consistent with a debutante who's just noticed that her best friend is wearing the same dress as she is at a Daughters' ball. He asks Said if he's from the 'hood. Said says he was born there, but he got out, and has traveled the world. And the seven seas. Mershah suggests that Allah sent him to remind him where he comes from, and smiles all ha-ha. Said laughs mirthlessly to himself, and Mershah's smile fades faster than someone watching Carrot Top do stand-up.

Showers. Mershah, who's got quite the body, bitches to Arif about Said, and suggests that he might be more valuable to their cause as a "symbol" rather than a leader. Arif asks what that means, but Mershah ha-has again that he was just kidding. That Arif, always one step ahead. One step ahead of a three-legged tortoise, that is.

Mershah, who's apparently podmates with Said, is doing calisthenics when the lights come on. We pan up to see Said, who looks like he ate about seventeen bowls of five-alarm chili the night before. He gives a strangled cry, and Mershah asks if he's having a heart attack. Said doesn't quite manage to gasp, "Yes, you buffoon," but it's implied. Mershah faux-reverently tells him it's the will of Allah. He leaves, and Said falls out of the bed -- whether more from pain or annoyance, I don't know. Nice plan, Mershah, except isn't count going to happen immediately? Whatever. Hill VOs about how the body and mind have to work together, as we get a montage of Adebisi snorting, Rebadow sleeping in the hospital, Ryan and Beecher soaring together (hopefully over one of the Greek isles), Hill wasted, and Said getting wheeled into the hospital. Hill tells us we have to take care of our bodies, because they're all we have. "I'll make a deal with you. I'll love your body if you love mine." Sounds great, Ryan.

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Oz

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