U.S. Male

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Kim: A | Grade It Now!
U.S. Male

Man, they let you know right from the opening credits what this show is about, don't they? If someone stumbled onto this show while flipping through the channels and saw the opening credits, they'd know they were in for male and female nudity, drug use, sex, murder, and violence. Also, this episode was directed by Mr. Steve Buscemi.

Hill, dressed in a postal worker uniform, recites the motto of the U.S. Postal Service -- the whole "neither rain nor snow" business. Hill informs us that it was adapted from the sayings of the philosopher Herodotus. Nice bit of trivia, that. Hill points out the anticipation of getting mail, and says that in Oz, the anticipation is usually the best part. Well, it is outside of Oz, too! I always go out to get my mail at 2:00 PM, and I get all excited about it, and then it's all credit card offers and flyers for Wal-Mart. What a letdown.

We open right up with a "How I Got To Prison" montage. A rifle sight scopes out a man, and then settles on a little kid carrying a red ball, and we hear a gunshot. The shooter was prisoner #99C124, William Cudney, who was convicted on February 10th, 1999 of murder in the first degree. His sentence is life without the possibility of parole, and you really feel that is just as you see the man pick up his lifeless child. Having the red ball roll away into the snow was a bit much, though.

Cudney, Ryan, and Cyril sit at a table. Ryan backstories that Cudney's wife got an abortion without telling him, so Cudney wanted to kill the abortion doctor, and hit the son accidentally. Cyril asks what abortion is, and Ryan tells him that it's when the baby goes to heaven without being born. Cudney clarifies that he killed the son on purpose, because the doctor killed his child. Cudney believes it was an eye for an eye. Ryan gets up and leaves. Cyril asks Cudney what he's going to say to the doctor's son when he sees him in heaven. Cudney doesn't answer, so Cyril says he knows what he's going to say to Gloria's husband, if Cyril gets into heaven. Ah, simple Cyril.

Ryan waits for Cyril in the gym. When Cyril finally shows up, Ryan wants him to start boxing right away. Cyril says he's not going to box, and adds that Cudney told him that God doesn't want him to box. Ryan softens and says that it's okay. Cyril is surprised that Ryan isn't mad. Ryan says he thinks Cyril should listen to what Cudney says, and they leave.

Ryan walks into a room where Cudney is writing a Bible verse on a chalkboard. Cudney asks if Ryan has come to join their prayer group. Ryan picks up a Bible from the table and reads a verse out of it. When Ryan gets close enough, he smashes Cudney in the face with the Bible. Ryan tells Cudney to tell Cyril he has to box, and then never speak to him again. Ryan smashes Cudney with the Bible a few more times for good measure, and then admits that he never had much use for the Bible before. Ryan asks if he can keep the Bible, and Cudney whimpers, "No." Ryan keeps it anyway, and walks out. As he exits, he sees Gloria and McManus walking up some stairs. He calls to Gloria, and McManus tells him to watch himself as they walk on.

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