Camille is in the attic, painting, when Sarah comes in and tries to talk about the whole Zeek-Camille-Matthew triangle. Camille says that though it is none of Sarah's biz, the Matthew situation is over. Sarah uncomfortably says that, you know, Zeek had mentioned the guy was at the house. Camille interrupts. "That's the thing about your father," she says, angry. "He talks to everyone but me." Ah, but here's a segue. Sarah says that Julia is having that Tim(m) guy over again to talk to Zeek about what can be done about the property, and Sarah thinks Camille ought to be there, too. "Why didn't he invite me?" Camille snits. "You see? That's what I'm talking about." Sarah loses it. She says if Camille is going to just sit around waiting for Zeek to call her and invite her, she could be waiting forever. "Don't be a victim, you know?" she says. "Do something! You don't need an invitation to your own life." Camille regards her, serenely. "You are absolutely right," she says. "And I'm really glad I taught you that." Oh, MOTHER. Did my mother write this? Y'all would tell me if my own mom was a writer for this show, right? Because there's not one smart thing I've said in 37 years that she hasn't taken credit for, and frankly... she's probably right about all of it. Nevermind.
Back on the houseboat, a different kind of victimization is going on. An assault on my ears. An attack on one of the greatest country songs of all time, sung so drunkenly out of tune by Zeek, accompanied by Crosby on his houseboat piano, that I have to bite my knuckles to keep from screaming. They are shooting tequila, which frankly is no excuse, but it does at least explain the creepiness of this whole scene, half of which includes Zeek's musings on all the "cute little things" he met in Saigon during the war, including one who "had the tightest little..." Yeah, DID I just hear that right? These are words you don't need to hear from Craig T., am I right? People, I for real wish I could rinse my brain with bleach right now. Are you serious, NBC? Dax Shepard seems to agree with me as he gags on his beer chaser and insists he does not require all the details on that particular cute little thing. DAMN. Again, it's cool that the actors are allowed all this free-wheeling ad-lib time for these scenes, but... seriously. Creepy Sex Grandpa is really not endearing. Uh, anyway, Zeek boozily thanks his youngest son for hanging out with him like this, since Adam wouldn't even crack a brew while he was staying there. "No way!" Crosby says. "If he drinks too much, the stick falls out of his ass." Hee. They do a lot more shots and a lot more swigs and, when Crosby goes for a refill, Zeek foggily admits that he doesn't even know what he's saying half the time these days. That brings me a measure of relief, at least. "You're mother's gonna forgive me," he says. "She's got to." Crosby bro-style assures him that everything will surely blow over, but Zeek's already moved on, specifically to get into Crosby's face about how he can't allow Jasmine to take Jabbbar to New York. Crosby tries to say his dad doesn't understand, but Zeek shouts that Crosby can't let Jabbar slip away from him. "You," he blearily adds, "have to Man Up." Naw, man. YOU have to SHUT up.