Parenthood

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You're Bound to Lose Control When the Rubberband Starts to Jam

Back at HQ, Sarah is coming outside to have some coffee in the garden when she spies someone in the bushes. It's Damian. Using the garden hose as a shower. "WHAT are you doing?" Sarah yells. "If my father sees you...!" Damian says something about how Zeek hinted he should wash up, but "then I saw these plants in need of attention..." Nice cover, dumbass. Sarah sighs. "You seem like, you know... an okay guy," Sarah says, meaning the opposite, "but Amber's from a broken home. She doesn't know a serious relationship from a sandwich yet." She goes on, quite calmly, saying that she wants Amber to concentrate on herself, and maybe her future graduation and college. "There's an old expression," she says, getting philosophical on Damian's level. "'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, they never were.' You know what I mean?" Damian, who needs to be hit over the head with a frying pan, says it's not that easy. "You're right," Sarah agrees. "But, it would really help her out. Just for now."

Julia and Joel are at home when they look out the window and see Kristina coming up their walk. They look at each other, full of guilt. "Okay, I've got this," Julia says with faux-confidence. Joel runs and hides, saying he believes in her. Funny, but ultimately... lame. Kristina comes in and as Julia hugs her awkwardly, says she brought over some books that were comforting to her during Max's diagnosis, and says she just wants to reiterate how much she loves Julia and Joel and their family. I mean, haven't Kristina and Adam been together a million years? Would they really be this uncomfortable with each other? This whole thing is so gross to me. Julia can't get up the nerve to tell her of Sydney's report, and Kristina leaves thinking she has just done something all noble and helpful. I just feel like the message is: We're embarrassed to tell you our kid is awesome, when yours sucks so bad. I realize it's not as simple as that, but it's still wrong. Bug lectures notwithstanding, Max rules.

Even after her moving speech to the cretinous Damian, Sarah has just discovered a note from Amber saying she's gone off with the dude for the afternoon. She comes out to the yard where Camille is preparing the weekly Braverman dinner table, amazed that Amber wouldn't even bother to lie about it. "That's good, isn't it?" Camille asks. Sarah says no, flopping down in a seat. "In this context, it shows a complete lack of respect." Now it's Camille's turn to philosophize. "You can't live their lives for them," she says. "The best you can do is help them avoid making some of the mistakes that you made, that's about it." Sarah wonders why she didn't just let Zeek kill Damian when he had the chance. "I'm out there quoting Jonathan Livingston Seagull, like an idiot," she groans. Camille remembers that Sarah was obsessed with that book, and Amber always liked it, too. Sarah is not in the mood to reminisce. "Why does she hate me, Mom?" she asks. Aw, man. Tears. Camille says daughters hate their mothers, that it's the law of nature. "But you know what?" she adds. "Then they come back." Seeing that Sarah is about to cry -- indicated by the patented Lauren Graham scrunch face -- Camille sits beside her. "Sarah," she says. "You're my best one." Feeling instant Mother Guilt, she amends this. "You're the one that I most identify with," she says. Now Sarah does cry. "Not perfect Adam?" she asks. Camille says no, Sarah's the brave one. She's never afraid of taking chances, and declared her independence pretty early in life. "You have to honor that person that you are," she says. "Because I do." Camille strokes Sarah's hair. "Sweetie," she says, "it's gonna be okay."

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Parenthood

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