Parenthood

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ys. "He's not the one I'm worried about right now. What's your problem?" He stomps into the kitchen like a teenage girl, and Kristina follows. "You're all wound up," she says. "It means you need to take some time for yourself or you're gonna snap." Thing is, he's already snapping, angrily throwing Max's toys off the counter into a bin. Kristina yells for him to stop, reminding him of the system. If Max cleans up his toys, he gets a sticker. "Okay," Adam snarks, looking at the mess. "I'll just live like this." His PMSy behavior continues until Kristina is in tears. Oh, men who act like teenage girls, I love them. I mean, I feel for the guy, but come on. He bitches that he has no time for himself, and cannot imagine making any with all his responsibilities to think of -- Crosby needs advice about Jabbar; Sarah's kids need a father figure; his own daughter won't even go on a bike ride; etc. Daddy's having a meltdown. "I don't have a life!" he says. "I have a schedule." Kristina cries, asking how that's supposed to make her feel. "Kristina, this isn't about YOU!" he says, which enrages me, because... yeah, dick, it's about YOU. He says -- to the woman his children treat like a maid and a cook -- that he feels like everybody treats him like a household appliance. Kristina cries anew, taking it all on her shoulders. "Adam, stop," she says as he rants. "Maybe what you need to do is take a break. You CAN take a break. Take. A break." With that, she leaves, in tears.

Speaking of tears: when Lauren Graham cries, I cry. She's arrived at Mr. Cyr's apartment and lays it immediately on the line. "In two years, Amber's going to be graduated," she says when she walks in the door. "And you'll be 30! Or, almost 30. And... I think that's the time that we should go out, next." Aw. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Cyr says. "I'm asking you to go out with me," Sarah says, beginning to cry. Mr. Cyr: "In... two years?" He says he doesn't understand -- this dating thing has been working. "This is not the part of my life that's supposed to be working," she says. She moved back home to take care of her family, and she thinks she's doing a terrible job. She sobs that she can't think of anything else to do. "Wait," Mr. Cyr says. "I don't want to wait two years for this, do you?" Sarah: "Then don't, okay?" Oh, damn, L.G. You get me, every time. She leaves, having knocked the breath clean out of Mr. C and the rest of us, as well.

Saturday dawns, and Amber comes downstairs to find her mom sharpening pencils. Like, dozens of them. Amber is... frosty, to say the least. Sarah cheerily tries to push some coffee and a granola bar on her, as well as the pencils, but Amber rolls her eyes and stomps out. Finally, at her mom's insistence, she turns around at the door. "Good luck," Sarah says, lamely, and Amber stomps out.

Things are going about as well with Crosby. Jasmine has arrived at the houseboat with Jabbar. "You're busted," she says. "Jabbar told me about the playdate." She says she doesn't want her kid used as chick bait, left alone in a pool while he gets it on with some woman. Crosby swears it wasn't like that. Well, it was like that, he says, but he shut it down. In fact, he adds, so proud of himself, it was sort of like, a life lesson. Poor, delusional Crosby. Jasmine ain't going for it. "What is wrong with you?" she yells. Jabbar looks worried, man. When mama ain't happy... Anyway, Crosby says he wants to be the man Jasmine thought he was. "Then BE it," she says. He swears he's trying, but she leaves with the kid, anyway. Not sure why she had to come all the way there and drag Jabbar to get in his face, but whatever. She makes a good point. Crosby calls after Jabbar that he'll see him, soon.

Adam has finally, somehow, convinced Haddie to take a bike ride with him. They arrive at a park in the city as Haddie really gets warmed up on a complaint about Kristina. "If you want something, ask me," she says, about her mom. "It's just this look that she does all the time, and I'm sure you've seen it!" Adam, who has no doubt seen it, asks her to look around the park and see the play structure, all the grass and the nice benches. She does, shrugging. He says that the company that built the adjacent building wanted to use every inch of the land to build offices. "Your mother stepped in and fought them," he says, saying she convinced the company to put up $200k to build the park, instead. "Without her, this wouldn't be here." Haddie is actually sort of impressed. "Wow," she says. "That's so Erin Brockovich of her." She sits down with Adam on a step and looks at the park, sighing. Adam puts his arm around her. "Thank you," he says. Haddie looks worried as any teenager would, receiving unexpected thanks from a parent. He says he is just thankful that she came out with him today for the bike ride. "I know there are other things you'd rather be doing with your Saturday," he says. Haddie proudly says no, there aren't. "Yeah, that's what I thought," Adam says, laughing. This father-daughter bonding is quite short-lived, though, when Haddie's cell phone rings. "Steve?" Adam sighs. Haddie says yeah, he was supposed to call her if basketball let out early so they could hang out. "But," she says, seeing her father's disappointment. "I'm gonna tell him that I can't -- that I'm busy." Adam says no, she should go. She insists that she doesn't mind. "Haddie, go," he says. "Be 15. Just be a good girl." Sweet dad. That killed me a little. Excitedly, Haddie takes the next call from Steve and scurries off with her bike. Adam watches her go, sad, but then seems to have a new thought.

Amber, meanwhile, is having an old thought. Outside the school, she sits smoking a cigarette, looking around for someone. Tragically, the hated Damian arrives in his stupid van. Of course he drives a van. "I can't believe you drove all the way from Fresno," she says, jumping in and kissing him. He asks how her test went, and she tells him she didn't go to it. He's surprised. "What do you care?" she asks. "Let's just go!"

Kristina is folding laundry when she finds a coffee drink in the linen closet. It's a decaf, vanilla sugar-free latte from Haddie! She turns to find her standing there, Steve in tow. "We stopped by Pete's," she says, "and I didn't know if you'd want your usual. It's not a big deal, at all." Kristina says, no, it is a big deal. Steve makes himself useful by telling her how much worse sugar-free syrup is than regular. Ugh. Is there such a thing as a teenager that is NOT annoying? Even the nice ones are insufferable. Haddie and Steve wander down toward Haddie's bedroom. "Keep the door open, please," Kristina says, as Haddie says "of course" and pushes the door almost closed. Kristina asks where Adam is. "I don't know," Haddie says. "We split up like, three hours ago." Kristina: "What?"

Indeed, Adam is off on his own, for once. In fact, he's at the beach, staring out the ocean, zipped into a wetsuit and ready to take on the waves. As he carries his board into the surf, his phone rings. He keeps walking.

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Parenthood

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