It's the next morning, and Bailey, Julia and Justin are packing up the Jeep. Bailey says he has a plan and Julia teases him, "You have a plan?" Bailey reminds her that he's done part of this trip before, when he went after Sarah. And that's the only mention of Sarah you will get in this episode. Justin says they don't have to be in DC for two weeks. Bailey says his plan involves no more than eight hours of driving per day, no more than two hours of driving per person, and they can stop whenever they want. Bailey says he's waited a long time to see the country. Justin offers to take the first shift. Bailey says he wants to be the one to drive away. See, it's like symbolic and stuff.
Charlie says that some mover named Irv dropped a mirror. He thought Irv's tattoo said "Mama" but then his shirt hiked up and Charlie saw that it said "Yo Mama." I had to include that because I think "Yo Mama" is the best comeback ever. It's so fifth grade. Anyway, Kirsten says, "He's moving." Charlie thinks she's talking about Irv, but she's talking about the baby. Charlie feels her stomach. Claudia walks in and complains about Irv, and then finds out the baby is moving, so she puts her hands on Kirsten's stomach too and calls for Julia. Kirsten complains that they are referring to the baby as "Stewy." Charlie has a solution. They'll throw Owen a bone and make the first name "Stewart," but then call him by his middle name, "Nicholas." He says the full name will be "S. Nicholas Salinger." Julia comes in and asks if they're afraid people will call him "Snick" and Charlie tells her to shut up. Julia puts her hands on Kirsten's stomach as well, like her stomach is big enough for all these hands. I bet they can feel her internal organs. Bailey and Owen walk in, and Bailey says someone needs to slap Irv, and he nominates Charlie. Bailey asks if they are all rubbing Kirsten's stomach for good luck, and then someone says the baby moved, so Bailey and Owen get their hands in there too. Irv comes in and interrupts the moment, so they all move away. Irv moves out a dresser, and Kirsten sees something on the wall. It's a height chart. They all crowd around to check it out, and mention that their dad used to measure them every year, right after they ate their birthday cake. Julia says that Bailey used to stand on tiptoe when he was measured. Owen asks if he's on there, and Claudia looks all the way down at the bottom and finds Owen at three months old. Julia notes that they grew so fast. Claudia points out that Charlie is taller now than their dad was, and everyone kind of reflects on that while "Bookends" by Simon and Garfunkel plays. We pan out of the room while the Salingers stand around the height chart, and it would have been a nice ending except Charlie and Kirsten start making out and I feel sick to my stomach now, which is oddly appropriate.