Claudia goes into a coffee shop and runs into Victor, who is fixing two cups of coffee. Either he's with someone, or he's as bored with this show as the rest of us and needs a caffeine I.V. Victor acts all nervous and shady. Claudia doesn't notice and offers to join him. Claude apologizes for the whole Ross situation. Victor says she was just trying to help. Claudia spies Ross sitting upstairs and tells Victor not to turn around because Ross is there, and that she'll go distract him while Victor sneaks out. Come on, Claudia is smarter than this. Claude asks if Victor is there with someone due to the two cups of coffee. Finally, Claudia realizes what the rest of us knew from the first moment of this painfully contrived scene -- that Victor is there with Ross. Claudia says, "You're on a date with Ross," and Victor says they are just having coffee, and nothing is happening. Then he adds that nothing is going to happen if Claudia doesn't get out of there, because if Ross sees her, he'll invite her to join them. Claudia's all, "I knew it!" and leaves while Victor joins Ross. The coffee's probably cold by now.
Charlie comes home and Kirsten is in her pajamas on the couch. She's surprised to see him because she thought he had to work late. He says that he got out early to celebrate their anniversary. Kirsten points out that the anniversary was days ago. Charlie says today is the anniversary of the day he came home and told her that he would be home no later than 7 P.M. at least three nights a week. Kirsten doesn't want him to make promises he can't keep. Charlie unplugs the phone (thank you!) and turns off his pager even though he has three unanswered pages. One of the pages is a message from Owen that says, "Help! I'm locked in the basement! Remember when you wanted custody of me?" Another one is from Diana who says, "Help! I've been shipped off to Texas. Remember when you wanted custody of me?" The third is from their unborn baby, and it says, "Help! No one is feeding me! I'm going to die soon if I don't get any food." Charlie says he ordered takeout and turns on the stereo. He sits on the couch with Kirsten and thus begins a series of bizarre fades. Like, instead of just cutting from one camera shot to the other, the director put in fades between each shot, and it's very distracting. It reminded me of The Simpsons, when Homer was making the video about Ned Flanders and after every shot he wanted a star wipe. Anyway, I was too distracted by the fades to listen to much of the conversation, but Kirsten is happy with the offer.