Holly and Bailey go to visit Will in the basement. No, really. They try to talk Will into moving into Holly's apartment, since they are married and all. Their argument is that the INS agent might show up again, and I'm glad they are acknowledging that there's more to the process than one interview. Holly doesn't want to keep telling the INS agent that Will is at work while Will rush across town to get there, because that is a red flag to the INS. Will clearly has Stockholm Syndrome, because he claims to like living in the basement. Bailey thinks Will is nuts, and points out the clanking washing machine, but fails to mention the iron shackles bolted to the wall. Meanwhile, Will is trying to get dressed, so he has on a shirt and a towel around his waist, and he's looking for his pants. Holly wonders if the reason he won't move in with her has to do with privacy. Will says that is a part of it as he ducks around the corner to put on his pants, like could they turn their backs or something? Bailey claims they can work the privacy thing out, like if Will wants to have Meredith over to spend the night, Holly can spend the night at Casa Salinger. Yeah, can you just imagine the INS agents showing up at the apartment and finding Will with another woman? That would go over really well. At the mention of Meredith, Will wonders how he's going to tell her that he's moving in with another woman. How serious are they, anyway? Is she the one from the episode where Bailey slept with her little sister? I'm sure she wouldn't mind Will helping Bailey out, then. Also, Will spent like three days straight memorizing everything about Holly and never mentioned it to his girlfriend? Anyway, Bailey says that Will can just explain thing to Meredith and she will understand, because he was helping out a Salinger and that's the most noble thing a man can do. Will isn't convinced. Bailey points out that Holly's place is nicer, closer to where Will works and it will keep the INS happy, so what is Will's problem? Will says he'll thing about it, but he's got to get to work. When did Will get a work ethic? As Will walks out, the washing machine starts clanking. If you listen very carefully, you can hear that it is tapping the following message in Morse code: "Everybody wants to be closer to free."
Claudia ascends into Julia's lair, where Julia is working on her laptop AGAIN. Claudia asks when Julia is going to check her messages, because that reporter keeps calling. Julia tells Claude to ignore the calls. Claudia claims that she can't ignore her, because every time she's on the phone, the reporter beeps in. I hate call waiting. But couldn't Claude just fail to answer the beeps? You'd think with as many people as they have living in the Salinger house, they'd have voice mail or something. Anyway, Claude fulfills her duty as Julia's foil by asking why Julia doesn't want to talk to the reporter. Julia expositions that the reporter is from an "online magazine" and she read Julia's book online and now she thinks Julia has something to say to her readers. Claudia agrees that Julia might. Julia claims that the reporter thinks she is a pillar of strength because she stood up to Ned (after like half a season, but anyway), and that Julia is a "role model." Claude strokes Julia's ego some more by agreeing that Julia is a role model. Julia points out that she is "moping around in her sweats" because Adam left, so she's no role model. Claudia thought she wrote the book partly to help people. Julia agrees and says she will call the reporter eventually, but right now she's too disgusted with herself to be strong for anyone else. Claudia wonders how long she's going to wait, because the reporter's deadline is in two days, so Claudia made an appointment with her and she's coming by later. Julia is not pleased. Claude says that she can cancel, but Julia has to make the call and hands her the phone and walks out.