Party of Five
Taboo Or Not Taboo

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Wild Women Do

Will is on the phone with someone, saying that there are nine thousand people waiting for season tickets, but he would be happy to make this guy nine thousand and one, and the guy hangs up. Just then Bailey walks in, and Will says, "He hung up. They all do. That's my job, now. I'm a professional disappointment to people. And my parents said I couldn't make a living that way." Ha! That is like the one funny line of the night, so savor it. Bailey asks if Will has time for coffee, but Will is still in avoidance mode, so he says he has to work. Yeah, Bailey. Some people have to work for a living, not just follow their girlfriends around and then pop into their brother's office for a few minutes and collect a fat paycheck. Then again, I write recaps for a living, so who am I to judge? Anyway, Bailey settles in and asks Will what's going on with him. Will says he's just answering phones and "disappointing the masses." Okay, it was funny the first time, but let's not milk it. Bailey clarifies that he wants to know what's going on with Will and Holly. Will panics for a minute, thinking that his love for Holly has been found out. Bailey is oblivious and says that Will made it painfully clear that he doesn't want to move in with Holly, and Bailey has concluded it's because Will doesn't like Holly. Isn't that ironic, Alanis? See, because Will likes Holly a little too much. Bailey points out all the ways Will hates Holly -- he doesn't look at her, he barely talks to her, and he avoids her at all cost. Will says he does like Holly, so Bailey asks what the problem is. Will already explained himself in the basement. Bailey says he is Will's best friend, and Will should level with him, but instead of giving Will a chance to actually speak, Bailey keeps talking and saying that maybe Will thinks Bailey doesn't want Will around. Bailey's all, "We love you, man! We want you around!" Will still doesn't say anything. Bailey asks Will to move in with Holly again. Will STILL doesn't say anything. Bailey wonders if maybe he's wrong and it's something else, but Will finally grabs the lifeline and says it's nothing. Bailey says he'll let Holly know that his mission was a success, and that he was able to verbally wrestle Will into submission, and that he didn't have to bring out the shackles just yet. If only Owen were so lucky.

At the club, Daphne and her friends are dancing while Kirsten sips a club soda with lime and sits at a table watching them. Kirsten's hair is down, and now I understand why she usually wears it pulled back. It's all flyaway and there is a weird shorter layer that is about chin length that just sticks straight out, and then there is the longer part. Yuck. Anyway, Daphne comes over, all exhausted from dancing and saying, "Oxygen, oxygen" and flapping her hands. Kirsten asks if she's accomplishing her goal of cutting loose and having a good time. Daphne says she hates her friends because they can dance and dance and never get tired. Kirsten points out that her friends are "professionals." Daphne thinks it has more to do with the hormone that entered her body when she started breast-feeding, "the one that makes [her] spark to topics like spit-up." Daphne decides to counteract it with more tequila. I'm assuming that she's not still breast-feeding, because you know Kirsten would be all over her for that. In case we didn't get the parallel plotline structure, even though they used it last week, Daphne tells Kirsten to get out on the dance floor before she turns into Daphne. Kirsten's all "Oh, I don't know" but she says it so that you know she wants to, but she wants someone to beg her. Daphne reaches into her back pockets and says her baby pictures are all wet. Ew! Ass sweat! Kirsten is watching the dancers so Daphne calls her attention to the wet pictures. Helpful Kirsten suggests she use the air dryer in the ladies' room. Daphne runs off, but first she stops and yells out that she's "helpless to stop herself" from worrying about her baby pictures on her night out with the girls. One of Daphne's friends, Dusty, catches Kirsten's eye and signals her out on the dance floor. Kirsten shakes her head and acts all reticent, but you can tell she is dying to go out there. Dusty boogies over and pulls Kirsten out there. Wow, Kirsten is a really bad dancer.

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Party of Five




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