Julia walks into an office and finds Phoebe sitting at a desk. I don't know what webzine Phoebe works for, but it's pretty plush. After Phoebe minimizes all the windows on her computer screen by pressing some magic key, Julia launches into an explanation of why she's there. She knows Phoebe must be thinking poorly of her for being with Justin, and if Julia's going to be in the article, she wants to set a good example. Hey, Julia, why don't you just write the article for her? You know you want to. Julia explains that Justin came over and he was practically in tears, and even though that sounds lame, he was really upset because he talked to his wife and they both realized they made a terrible mistake. Isn't it convenient that Laura goes along with this, so that Julia doesn't have to feel like a homewrecker? Phoebe says it sounds sad. Julia says she listened to Justin and all of the things she was angry about "faded away" and that means something. And, in an unprecedented display of TMI, Julia says that "one thing led to another." Did she really have to tell the reporter she slept with Justin? Phoebe asks the question all the viewers are thinking: "Why are you telling me all this?" Then she points out that Justin has nothing to do with the article. Julia says she saw the expression on Phoebe's face when she left, and she knows that Justin being there made her look weak. Phoebe says it's none of her business (now, she admits this?), but wonders why, if Julia's so sure about being with this guy, she has to do so much explaining.
Claudia's teacher is handing back the papers, and berating the class for their poor work. Where did the writers of these shows go to high school, Communist Russia? Between this show and Dawson's Creek, I have never seen such mean teachers. Anyway, this teacher says she always dreads teaching Romeo and Juliet because some people might rent "the Leo film" but most of them don't bother reading the play at all. She gets to Claudia, and says that her paper was "college-level writing." Claudia just looks scared. The teacher says she's proud of her. All the other kids plot to beat Claudia up at recess. She tells the class they have a test next week on Much Ado About Nothing. What kind of high school do these kids go to where the teacher expects them to read a Shakespearean play in a week, and yet is surprised to see college-level writing?
Daphne and Kirsten walk into the back room at the strip club. Dusty asks what they thought of her performance, and Kirsten is gushing about how she had the audience in the palm of her hand. Daphne is all derogatory about the performance, which is kind of annoying since she used to be a stripper herself. But we all know Daphne's only purpose on this show is to further Kirsten's so-called plotline, so I don't know why I bother complaining. Anyway, Kirsten wants to know how it felt to be in control of all those men, and Daphne interjects that she saw a guy in the corner putting on a show of his own. Dusty opens her locker and Kirsten asks if those are her costumes. Dusty says she makes her own, and sometimes sells them to the other girls. Kirsten pulls one out and holds it up in front of herself while looking in the mirror. Dusty asks her if she wants to buy one to add a little spice into her marriage. The mental image from that suggestion just made me hurl. Excuse me while I brush my teeth. Okay, I'm back. Dusty asks Kirsten if she wants to try the stage. Kirsten is all reticent, but she clearly wants to, just like at the dance club. Daphne is all shocked that Kirsten is even considering it, and tells Dusty to help her talk Kirsten out of it. Kirsten just keeps looking in the mirror, and doesn't give an answer.