Party of Five
Ties That Bind

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Ties That Bind

Charlie and Kirsten are hanging out in their apartment by candlelight, and wearing like six sweatshirts each. Charlie is figuring out their finances, and Kirsten says that it's not enough to pay for the rest of the drugs she needs. Charlie reveals that he heard about buying drugs cheap, but it's illegal. Laws be damned, people, this couple needs a baby! When Kirsten balks, Charlie says that they are always complaining. That's true. Oh wait, there was more to that sentence. They are always complaining about the cost of the drugs, and how people like them "can't afford to have babies this way." Are we supposed to feel sorry for them? Charlie says it's not like they're buying heroin. Kirsten asks if they are really that desperate. Charlie points out that they have turned off the lights and the heat to save money. I can tell you from experience that turning off the heat really doesn't save that much money.

Griffin is trying to fix a motorcycle by leaning over it and doing something to the opposite side. Why doesn't he just walk around and kneel down next to it? He takes off his sling and rests his cast on the handlebars, which gives him better access. But not as good as if he just walked around to the other side. Anyway, he slips and puts his full weight on his bad arm, and knocks over the bike. Then he starts swearing and kicks the bike. This is just like on Happy Days, when Fonzie went blind and Richie took apart his bike and dumped all the pieces in the middle of the floor and Fonzie ended up putting the whole bike back together by touch. Those Cunninghams knew from tough love.

I can't really talk about the next scene, so I'll keep it short. Bailey and Holly decide that a hot shower in the stadium locker room will warm them up, after getting drenched by the sprinklers. Then, right in the middle of some hot shower action, my local affiliate cut to commercial. Oops! Then they come back and suddenly Bailey and Holly are naked and making out in the shower. I hope they don't get athlete's foot. Or worse.

After a real commercial break, Bailey and Holly have just finished doing it. Holly has to go and mention that they did it twenty times on the first date, which must be a lie. Bailey kind of hints that she's exaggerating, but for my mental health I wish they had come right out and verified the falsity of her statement. Holly starts blathering about doing the "American thing" of talking about her feelings, and ends up revealing that she "feeling all this stuff and it's kind of intense."

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Party of Five




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