Showing that special sort of television timing where a new character arrives just as a conversation is ending, Lily "Wiggy Stardust" Greeley McAllister enters through the front door. She's confused to see Henry and asks what he's doing there. After an awkward pause long enough for "whatever he says next is going to be a lie" to scroll across the bottom of the screen, Henry says he's there to see Lily. No wonder she gets so suspicious -- you guys take five minutes to spit out your lies. Then he makes it even worse by saying he has to leave now because his brother needs the car. He promises to call Lily later. I don't think we've ever seen Lily on the phone with Henry. I don't think he ever calls. Typical guy. After he leaves, Lily asks Catherine what that was about. Catherine lies, "I don't know. He's your friend," as we fade to credits.
Commercials. Those Victoria's Secret ads are total rip-offs of those old Jovan Musk ads. Remember those? With the woman washing the car in her underwear or something?
It's another breakfast at the McMansion. For once, everybody is sitting down at the table together, and Pilar has prepared food for everyone. Catherine even compliments her on how clean the house looks these days. How sweet. At last, the McAllisters have a breakfast where nothing gross happens. As we're all enjoying the loving '50s-television-show goodness of the scene, Pilar mentions that she found something interesting while cleaning the bathroom that she wants to show them. She walks over to the table and dumps a stack of porno mags in front of Mason "Ewww" Greeley McAllister. Sigh. I knew it was too good to last. Everybody stares at Mason, thinking, "At least I have the good sense to keep my porn in my own room." Mason tries to deny that it's his; Pilar humorously adds to his embarrassment by showing the family what else she's found -- a pair of binoculars. Lily rats Mason out, suggesting that he's peeping at Mona, the girl who lives next door. Will tells Pilar to throw the magazines away. Pilar smirks at Mason (even the help is down with the smirking) as she takes the magazines away and dumps them. Mason is the saddest little troll in all the land.
Catherine and Will head out to their vehicles as he fills her in on the board meeting. I wonder why Catherine didn't attend. Will tells Catherine that he invited a bunch of folks over to their house to celebrate tomorrow night. Catherine is livid, because that's not enough notice to prepare something classy. Will's all, "It doesn't have to be a big deal. And it's not my fault we only have one set big and classy enough to hold a party." Catherine continues to fume. Will accuses her of refusing to be happy for him and says, "I feel like I'm still being punished." I agree with that, except for the part where he thinks he's been punished. Catherine's a freak, but she's a lot nicer to her adulterous man than I would have been. He landed the top spot at his company, his mistress is suing his brother-in-law rather than him (not that he doesn't deserve it), Catherine is giving him nookie occasionally, and his kids still don't know what happened. What is he complaining about? And when did I become crazy Catherine's champion? Their argument comes to an abrupt end when the kids run out to get rides to school. Catherine shifts the conversation to express worry about Robert. She accuses her parents of misleading Robert about his chances to inherit the paper. Will blows this off, saying that though it's bad for Robert, it's good for him. And that, Catherine, is why he hasn't divorced you yet. Catherine apologizes for not being happy for him and gives him a quick peck. Will suggests that Robert is tough and will get over it.