Hostile Environment

Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 2 USERS: A+
Anal rape is funny

Elsewhere, Lily sits in her bedroom, looking through the alumni directory. She finds a phone number for Phillip Parker. She calls it, and a woman answers. Lily asks if she's speaking to Mrs. Parker. When the woman says she is, Lily hangs up.

Meanwhile, Catherine is watching the video that Henry left (is that a smart thing to do while others are in the house?) and pauses the image on Kim Carnes. Contrivance calls me -- collect, might I add -- to brag about his work in this scene. Catherine walks over to a nearby box containing hundreds of old Christmas cards. The fifth card down from the top is one of those photo cards with the family on the front. She pulls it out and takes a close look at it: a mother and father with two kids. She holds it up to the television, and it's a match -- the mother is the same woman. That was easy. You would think that if Catherine knows so many Pasadena people, as she claimed last episode, she would be a little quicker to recognize a woman who sends her Christmas cards.

Commercials. Everybody is insistent that I should dye my hair. I will not.

Back into The Subplot Of Ick. Will and Mason are having breakfast. Will decides he wants to have one of those "birds and bees" discussions with Mason. I think a discussion of restraining orders and privacy laws would be more appropriate. Will brings up the touchy-feely stuff about "feeling urges" and such. In the foreground, Pilar, who is mixing something in the kitchen, rolls her eyes. Ha! Will tells Mason that he can ask him anything about sex. Mason says he has one question. He wants to know how he can convince Mona to have sex with him. My phone rings. It's my next-door neighbor, asking if I'm okay. The sudden screaming frightened him. Will, rather than broaching the subject of a fifty-sixth trimester abortion, calmly tells Mason that he's not old enough for sex. Mason claims he is: "I wake up every morning humping the mattress." The neighbor rushes over to make sure I'm not being savaged by wild dogs. Am I watching Cinemax now? Is that what it is? Did this show suddenly get moved to Cinemax? I'm not listening to a Mason talk about masturbation. I refuse to believe it. He's talking about playing video games. In bed. That's it. Just video games. Mason says that sometimes he feels like his head's going to explode, because some of those levels in the shooting games are really hard. I mean, "difficult." Will says that casually playing video games with somebody else will lead to trouble. Mason says he wants to get into trouble. Will insists that he doesn't. I add, "Unless it's trouble that lands you in jail for a long, long time." Mason whines that his hormones might make him go crazy if he has to keep playing video games solo. Pilar, standing nearby, gives Will a look that says, "Too late."

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