The two of them rush down to find Pilar screaming in Spanish and crying. She found a rat under the sink (no, really?), and it bit her. Will asks Mason to hand him a broom so he can find the rat and brush it out of the house. The two of them creep up to the open cabinet. Mason pulls out the wastebasket from under the sink, and the cutest, most harmless rat on earth scampers out across the kitchen floor. Really, it's obviously somebody's pet rat. I bet Mike White stole it from the set of Undeclared when he was there doing a cameo as a pet shop owner. Everybody reacts to the creature as if it were the Sumatran Rat Monkey from Dead Alive and is going to bite them all and turn them into flesh-eating zombies. Mason declares it to be the biggest rat he's ever seen.

And now, an ironic scene change. Robert "Smug Alert" Greeley strides confidently through the lobby of The Sun, attitude set to "maximum smarm." He jokes to some woman about her new hairstyle, asking her if it's a mullet. He does the Masculine Fake Gut Punch with some guy and jokes that he wants his body. He insincerely sympathizes with some other guy about his recent diagnosis of diabetes as he's getting on the elevator, then asks him if their tennis match is still on. You just know that everybody at this newspaper completely mocks Robert around the water cooler -- probably even in staff meetings. I bet they even mimic his voice and speaking style, like Chandler's underlings on Friends. He rides up the elevator with a man and a woman. He asks the woman how "Jeff" is, and acts like he barely knows her. The elevator stops and the man gets off. After the door closes, Robert pulls the woman over to her and invites her up to the office. Unlike the scene with Jayleen last week, this falls under the category of a very consensual sexual advance. She smiles, but says she has an editorial meeting. He tells her to blow it off. The meeting, he means, though I'm sure later he'll mean something else entirely. They break apart as the elevator stops on another floor and somebody else enters. Robert goes back to pretending he doesn't know the woman very well. He makes an ass of himself by asking her if she's infertile when she mentions not having any children. Yeah, I can just imagine what they say about him around the office. The elevator stops again, and the woman makes to step off. Robert makes a big show of telling her that he needs to meet with her urgently in his office and asks her to "come in the next five minutes. Can you? Come in five minutes?" How very ew. I'm sure he finds his own little jokes so amusing. I bet he was that frat boy in college who laughed at his own farts and took a strange pleasure in abusing the pledges. And I may not know much about heterosexual relations, but wouldn't the length of time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm somewhat depend on the man's actions? Oh, who am I kidding? Like Smirky McHappypants actually cares if she gets off.