Pirate Master
Burnett To Come

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Burnett To Come

Expecting
Stung by criticism that his shows are hastening the decline of society, Burnett addresses head-on the problem of unplanned pregnancy, which he learned about while watching Knocked Up. Fifteen young, clueless, unmarried, and pregnant couples will compete for a package that represents hope for their baby's future: comprehensive pre- and post-natal care, a fully equipped and decorated nursery, and a sizable 529 college fund. Challenges designed to test the couples' real-world parenting skills include a bedtime story marathon, sleep-deprivation experiments, an orienteering race from school to soccer practice to piano lessons, and "no, officer, it couldn't have been my kid." Couples who do poorly on these challenges are brought before a "PTA board" consisting of Florence Henderson, Dr. Phil McGraw, and Saved By The Bell's Dennis Haskins to defend their performance. But inevitably, each week, one couple will be told, "We just don't think you have what it takes to be parents," after which they will be ferried in a black minivan to the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic.

Key To The Future
After being pilloried in the media for Expecting, Burnett attempts to rehabilitate his image with Key to the Future, an action game show that combines Burnett's EcoChallenge experience with inspiration drawn from Children Of Men. Under the watchful eye of host Michael Caine, contestants must race through a hair-raising obstacle course designed to resemble a bombed-out refugee camp. They must avoid or defeat actors playing violent refugees, soldiers, and corrupt guards in order to reach safety. The twist is that each racer will also be responsible for a young woman who is eight and a half months pregnant. But what if the mother goes into labor during the run? Well, racers who successfully deliver a healthy child receive a substantial time bonus that could more than make up for the delay. This potentially raises the strategic stakes beyond what happens on Survivor. Outplay...outwit...induce?

Magic School
Seven young people between the ages of eleven and eighteen will meet at London's King's Cross Station and board a train that will take them to a huge castle in the North of England. For the next two months, this will be their home: Magic School. Join our young witches and wizards as they learn the tricks of the magic trade from guest "professors" like David Copperfield, Lance Burton, and Penn & Teller. Each week, one student will be chosen to descend deep below the castle to face a terrifying foe: professional skeptic James (the Amazing) Randi. A private performance will determine whether they are to be expelled, and those who fool Randi get to return to class. In the end, Magic School will have only one graduate, whose prize will be a coin purse filled with lint. All he or she has to do is figure out how to turn it into one million dollars.

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Pirate Master

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